Tuesday, June 27, 2006

SHE WAS DRESSED AS A WARNING

I don't know who she was, but construction must have followed her everywhere...

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It's common knowlege that I hated the first two Spider-Man films. I almost walked out of the first, about halfway through, so bored to tears was I. It's the first movie I ever considered doing that to. The second was better, in the way that punching yourself in the face is better than stabbing it with a steak knife.

Anyway, I checked out the trailer for Spider-Man 3: Oh My God, it's Full of TV Stars, because even though the movies suck, the trailers have been pretty good across the board. Well, they were.

Sandman looks pretty good in sand form. He should, he's basically the most ideal digital effects villain (alongside Hydroman). The Black Costume manages to miss what made the Black Costume awesome in the 80s. Namely, the big, creepy white eyes and great big white spider emblem. Really, without that, Venom just becomes dark-grey Spider-Man. Eric Foreman looks like a tool, but that might be appropriate. HobGreen Goblin looks the same as before. Kirsten Dunst will once again make me hate her (remember when she was perfect?). And people will keep calling her 'MJ' — ugh! Some gargoyle creature, bathed in peroxide is playing Gwen Stacy.

The absolute best part of the trailer is the fact that they're positioning this as Peter Parker's struggle with interracial gay sex:

"How long..." (snicker)

"Can a man fight the darkness..." (um...)

"Before he finds it" (taking him from behind?)

"in himself?" (okay! you win!)

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