Thursday, October 05, 2006


A little list while printing:

339. Just A Friend Biz Markie Biz Never Sleeps

Oh, SHAP! A novelty song, by a novelty artist, from a period of novelty hits. Take Bla-bla-bla's word for it — it's one of the best ever.

340. Funky Ceili Black 47 Black 47 (EP)
341. Maria's Wedding Black 47 Black 47 (EP)

Man, I love these guys. They were so good for a short period of time. The American Pogues were best when they were laughing at the stupid shit they'd done.

342. Party Hard (Featuring Guru and Camutao) Perceptionists Black Dialogue
343. Let's Move Perceptionists Black Dialogue

The Perceptionists don't know if they want to party or impart 'conciousness'. They don't do either perfectly, but they merge those impulses so well.

344. A Peculiar Noise Called "Train Director" The Olivia Tremor Control Black Foliage: Animation Music Vol. 1
345. A Sleepy Company The Olivia Tremor Control Black Foliage: Animation Music Vol. 1

OTC picked sounds and themes and built them on top of each other into different songs that all blend together into an almost seamless album. It's hard to pick out the best songs, but these hold up on their own very well.

346. Break 'em Off Some Cypress Hill Black Sunday
347. When The Shit Goes Down Cypress Hill Black Sunday
348. Let's Talk About Sex Salt-N-Pepa Blacks' Magic

The angry stoner hiphop songs and Salt-N-Pepa's greatest contribution to music. I'm glad they talked about sex instead of making love. Now everybody's doing it.

349. New Pleasure Richard Hell & the Voidoids Blank Generation
350. Love Comes in Spurts Richard Hell & the Voidoids Blank Generation
351. Blank Generation Richard Hell & the Voidoids Blank Generation

The other literate punk. From when punk came out of the art schools and poetry classes instead of the frat house. He could also be damn catchy.

352. How U Want It Loon Blazin Hip-Hop And R&B Vol. 33
353. Excuse Me Miss (Remix) Jay-Z Blazin Hip-Hop And R&B Vol. 33
354. Pump It Up (Remix) Joe Buddens Blazin Hip-Hop And R&B Vol. 33
355. Never Leave Lumi D Blazin Hip-Hop And R&B Vol. 33

These songs used to be in the Ultimate Party Mix, but fell off in the latest itteration. The Loon song is fuckin' ridiculous.

356. Sky Is Falling Blackalicious Blazing Arrow
357. First In Flight Blackalicious Blazing Arrow
358. 4000 Miles Blackalicious Blazing Arrow
359. Paragraph President Blackalicious Blazing Arrow
360. It's Going Down Blackalicious Blazing Arrow
361. Passion Babu, Blackalicious & Rakaa Blazing Arrow
362. Release, Pts. 1, 2 & 3 Blackalicious Blazing Arrow

Possibly the most underrated hip-hop act around. Perfect production, crazy flow and rhymes that might be a little too smart. They sometimes get caught up in their politics, but when it all works, it really works.

363. Blew Nirvana Bleach
364. Floyd The Barber Nirvana Bleach
365. About A Girl Nirvana Bleach
366. Paper Cuts Nirvana Bleach
367. Negative Creep Nirvana Bleach

How I miss Nirvana. Bleach is a great album, but they really got better on each outing. Cobain's death may have been the greatest loss to music. These are the best songs they did before they became fully realized (and they're light-years better than most bands long after they are).

368. Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 Bob Dylan Blonde On Blonde
369. Visions Of Johanna Bob Dylan Blonde On Blonde
370. Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again Bob Dylan Blonde On Blonde
371. Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat Bob Dylan Blonde On Blonde

Blonde on Blonde tears me up. It really does. Dylan's only official release featuring music by his touring band, then known as The Hawks. The Hawks would then change their name and become that band that might have been the worst band in the world. What was that band's name again? Anyway, there's some wonderful songs hiding under all the awful instrumentation. Like a Darwinian experiment, some were strong enough to break through the crap.

372. The Wolf Is Loose Mastodon Blood Mountain
373. Sleeping Giant Mastodon Blood Mountain
374. Capillarian Crest Mastodon Blood Mountain
375. Hunters of the Sky Mastodon Blood Mountain

I stalled the other day, acquainting myself more fully with Mastadon. Guns & Roses without the glam or ego, sludgey troubadors of Frazzetta barbarian & monster paintings. They do a lot of the things that only metal can do, and they do it exceedingly well.

376. Tangled Up In Blue Bob Dylan Blood On The Tracks
377. Simple Twist Of Fate Bob Dylan Blood On The Tracks
378. You're A Big Girl Bob Dylan Blood On The Tracks
379. Idiot Wind Bob Dylan Blood On The Tracks
380. You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go Bob Dylan Blood On The Tracks
381. Meet Me In The Morning Bob Dylan Blood On The Tracks
382. Lily, Rosemary And The Jack Of Hearts Bob Dylan Blood On The Tracks
383. If You See Her, Say Hello Bob Dylan Blood On The Tracks
384. Shelter From The Storm Bob Dylan Blood On The Tracks
385. Buckets Of Rain Bob Dylan Blood On The Tracks

Unlike Blonde on Blonde, Blood on the Tracks may be the closest anyone has ever come to making a perfect album. Not a false or bad note appears. Most of the songs are utter classics, and the ones that aren't would have been on any other album.

386. Safe From Harm Massive Attack Blue Lines
387. Blue Lines Massive Attack Blue Lines
388. Be Thankful For What You Got Massive Attack Blue Lines
389. Five Man Army Massive Attack Blue Lines
390. Hymn Of The Big Wheel Massive Attack Blue Lines

Remember when trip-hop was going to conquer the world? When Massive Attack, Tricky and Portishead created a whole new type of music? The flood of pale imitators, comercial jingles, movie soundtracks and incorporators nearly drowned out the handful of genious albums. It's time to look back on that halcyon time and remember how good slow, dubby, quiet hiphop was.

391. Blue Train John Coltrane Blue Train
392. Locomotion John Coltrane Blue Train
393. I'm Old Fashioned John Coltrane Blue Train

I think the true sign of jazz genious might be the ability to make quieter, somber songs without sounding like smooth jazz or coming across as overly indulgent. 'Trane's sax is wistful and fond of something that's pulled away from his life. The band is screaming or crying, it just misses you.

394. Not Guilty Jay-Z Blueprint
395. The Ruler's Back Jay-Z Blueprint
396. Izzo (H.O.V.A.) Jay-Z Blueprint
397. Girls, Girls, Girls Jay-Z Blueprint
398. U Don't Know Jay-Z Blueprint
399. Heart Of The City (Ain't No Love) Jay-Z Blueprint

Probably the best thing Jay-Z has done was the Blueprint. There's really not a bad song on it, but some aren't flat-out great. The above are. Braggadocio and bravado can be like an ugly suit worn by a bore, but Hov turns them into charm. How he do that?

400. B.O.B.B.Y. RZA Bobby Digital
401. My Lovin' Is Digi RZA Bobby Digital

And there was a time when the Wu was going to take over the world too. Maybe there were too many competing visions for taking over the world? It's like you know the Red Skull will never succeed because Dr. Doom, Magneto, Kang and Apocalypse are watering down the villain pool. Bobby Digital may have been that point when the Cosmic Cube had given way to relying on Crossbones to do the dirty, but there's still some classic evil hidden inside.

402. Jump Van Halen 1984
403. Panama Van Halen 1984
404. Hot for Teacher Van Halen 1984

New Gods help me, there was actually a time when I enjoyed Sammy Hagar's foolishness. I always new Dave was better, but Sammy seemd pretty ok. How much much thought does it actually take to tell the difference between Hot For Teacher and Right Now? None. They may as well have been by different bands. Maybe they were. One was the-joke-as-genious and the other was the-joke-as-played-out.

405. I Am the Law Anthrax Among the Living
406. Indians Anthrax Among the Living
407. One World Anthrax Among the Living
408. Imitation of Life Anthrax Among the Living

Every year, dozens of bands think they're the next Reeses Peanut Butter Cup. Jazz Fusion! Nu Metal! Punk Ska! Thug R&B! British Rappers! Well, Anthrax was the first to merge hip hop and metal. But before that, they merged metal and punk. To fans of neither, that may not sound so disparate. To fans of either, they're musical antitheses. To fans of both, they're two great tastes that taste great together. Sabbathy sludge + speed leads + shouty, leftist politics + staccato rythms. No one made black & white sloganeering sound as heavy as Anthrax. The worst version of Judge Dredd starred Sylvester Stalone, the best featured Scott Ian on guitar.

The Rules
322-338 (the title's wrong because I'm dumb)


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