Sunday, December 20, 2009

THIS USED TO BE THE FUTURE (71-50)



This Used to Be the Future was a Challenge posted by Andy Khouri to all and sundry to rate their 100 foavorite songs of the decade. The man is putting some serious work into it, posting mp3s and using spell check and well, it's all very professional. I, on the other hand, am getting increasingly blotto as i type. I am taking it serously, but my serious doesn't look like somethig you actually want to show other people. Tis the season!

In my previous post, I got all the way from Song 100 to Song 72. Then I got up and stretched my legs. Seemed like a good time. BUt i left off on a cliffhanger. My web browser is blocking the titles of the next songs and I'm at the point where anyhting could be a surprise to me. So where did we leave the dynamic Uno? danananaNAH!

71. Grizzly Bear — Two Weeks
josh brought up Grizzly bear the other night before everyone ditched me at the Antlers concert and i had to make new friends... but he saw me light up at the mention. MAn, everytime i listen to this album i love it more and more. If we do a best of the Decade 2007–2017 then this will be higher up there I'm sure. Did you know people in LA call 2001: A Space Odyssey call it Twenty Oh One: A Space Odyssey? Hollywood is crazy. Anyway, i don't know what i personallly invest in this song an but i know i love hearing it. it is haunting and spacey an Tommy James without the actually, i would love to go to the prom and dance to this song. Maybe as a chaperone. Ask around!

70. Eminem — Lose Yourself
So, i hadn't heard the song in a while but then Marcos and i were driving up from Philly after the little convention we did there and we actually had to use the car radio like it was a whole other century and then this came on and we turned that shit up because you know what IT"S STILL. And then, months later, the oppurtunity came and i blew it. Man, i shoulda listened to this song closer. Well, except the parts that talk about the actors, I'm not sure there's a digger dissonance than the moment when he mentions Mekhi Phifer. Anyway, whatever, raise your hand and keep a beat. Do it at home becasue I guess people laugh at you when you do it in public unironically,. Or so I have read.

69. Interpol — PDA
We. Have. All. These. Couches! 200. Whatever. I typed too fast. is he complaining about people making out in bars? Why is this called PDA? If you are making out in a bar and the bar is spinning around you and this song is playing it's awesome. You don't want to go home at all. You want to pull some muther goddamned couch out of a closet and fucking maki out in a bar on that couch! Everyone should see what you did and sometimes they will cheer. Ge t afucking standing ovation when you leave the bar and the next day play this song on your ipod and pretend this was the song playing because holy fuck you don;t know what the fuck song was playing last night you were making out so hard you got a fucking standing ovations!

68. Outkast — Hey Ya!
How come Big Boi's album is called Speakerbooxxxx/love Below by Big Boi but Andre's album is called Speakerboxxxx/the Love Below by Outkast. What the hell, Big Boi? Why the hate? This song is still fun. It will always be fun. I got nothing. Maybe it's just one of the most fun songs ever and when we are old ou children will still be dancing to this song even if they don't know what a polarois is, its the Twist and they still play that at weddings and we still dance and if you don't really, you're making a statemnt at a wedding/ Who shit in your hair?

67. Fabolous — Breathe
I thought this was gonna be the biggest song of the year. This was perfect. Breathe! Breathe! And then Fabulous is all Fabuluos' best and he really is. unfortunately it came out when rap songs went crunk and you had to rap at one sylabal per minute. I'm sorry that Fabulous didn't write Yeah! It's all flow. If you did an all-flow mix for Christmas of the Decade, that would be one thin mix, and half of it would suck. But the best part would have this.

66. Built to Spill — Goin' Against Your Mind
So last year Built to Spill and Dinosaur Jr and the Meat Puppets played and Built was doing all of Perfect From Now On and the whole thing was this great big loud psychadelic show but it turns out that a band doing their full album isn't all that exciting and I was into it and it was the first show i'd seen in ages but it wasn't... i don't know. The Perfect From Now On part wasn't magic. We had found a prime spot at Terminal 5 between the bar and the railing and you could feel this show in your bones but i almost got into a fight with this one guy who tried to talk over full psychadelic metal verion of the Meat Puppets and fuck you dude but this cheerleader esque girl apologized for him and said it was this group's reunion, which, oy, brilliant planning, and i thought she was just the ambasador, but it turnd out most of that group left and she was there to see Built to Spill and would occasionall y grab me and dance a bit with the songs but man, i don't think any of us thought it was the best thing ever and then Perfect ended and fucking Built to Spill actually showed up and these drums kicked in and marcos and I were leaning on the rail and going nuts for it and this girl start playing my back as drums a nd grabbing me for hugs and i keep thinking i shoulod, turn around and take advantage ot that but the song is getting more intense and he's telling me it's going against my minf and i don't know if that means i should go against my mind and not turn around or turn around because my mind is telling me not to turn around or if this is what's going against my mind and the thing going against my mind idsst the thing i'm fighting or should be going with and the floor was rumbling and the posts were shaking and my back was throbbing from the pounding that she is laying into me and I love this song but i still don't know if i should;''ve turned around or not turned around bcause holy fuck it's ging against my mind! She left beofre the last encore and the girl who was going to turn into my girlfriend texted me after and i went home wondering why i stopped going to concerts and i remmebered it was because of the smoking ban but I had quit smoking.

65. The Ravonettes — Aly, Walk With Me
I love this creepy little song. Don't walk with her Aly. Seriously. If haven't listened to this asong yet, you should get away from her. I can't even tell you what's going to happen because it's just an assault of noise , but i bet it's not good.

64. Kanye West — All Falls Down
I love Kanye, and if he didn nothing but this song I would still love him. I can still remember Evelyn's face when she heard some of these lyrics and I realized no one had ever really written this song before. How often do you get a song that's snever been written before? Man, i got myself a pretty hot jacket. i'm glad i got friends.

63. Narcotic Thrust — I Like It
I like it when we go to Extremes. I do. We used to make fun of this song and then I realized i wasn't laughing anymore. I do like it when we go to extremes. Not only in my dreas. This song isn't meaningful in an way. i'ts crass house. it's the least extreme song ever written. it's all about hating things that are dull and liking things that are exciting right? I hade the treadmill every day. I hate the mundane things they say (presumably not the treadmills) But it's all this semi-robot woman over some Webster hall 1993 beat and syths and the bright lights are beckoning her aqpparently because the song isn' distractiing her that 's for sure. But then you hear this som many times and if you just reduce yourself down to cardboard for seven minutes of something then man, you will also like it when we go to extremes. You will like it so much. I''m not even laughing!

62. Rob Sonic — Dyslexia
This song rocks my shit. I was making a party mis years ago and i knew something from this would be on it because every cool dudes party mix has some track on one knows, and i played the album and would put one track on and then get to the next one and o out that one on and then get to the next track and put that on and i was all like wait, i know there's one track that stands out so much i NEED it in a mix but i just kept adding tracks to the mis thinking they all belonged and then I would hit this and the roof of your house blew off the roof and there was another roof inside and it blew it off. It blows of roofs like Caruso puts on glasses.

61. Apparat & Ellen Allien — Retina
This stories the same, except this was for a mix i did for a cool party I was gonna throw but didn't for more than the obvious reasons. i got this off som whim and i hadn't listened to techno is forever but i listened to this and then I was grabing germans and Detroit and watching this great documentary about Detroit TRechno and falling in love like I was on Ricki lake and someone from highschool put me on a "How Do You Like Me Now" and was an ugly nerd like me once and then came out from back stage looking like a stripper and I was upset I didn't ask her out but now we were gonna go to the ground Round for dinner like we always wantss. Cello, robot highway, it's dark and hell is cold and uncaring. God you, look so hot.

60. Mastodon — The Last Baron
How do you do Rasputin and not get Mignola on that shit? The only thing this song needs is a cyborg gorrilla or a fish man. But I am starting to wonder about the order. Retnia flowed into this like Rasputin himself worked the magic. Anyway, the first thing said is :I guess they would say, we could set this world ablaaaaaaaaaaze!!!!!!" And then the earth falls. Over under some ocean of sweeling guitars. I think there's a magic crystal of time travel and a lost sister you can't let go of but together we could and then it kicks in with riffs! Metal riffs! But it's a tease. Then riffs! And then drums and then IT"S A WHOLE NEW SONG or rhthym! Then another song of pounding! Then rhthym. And it works not like a lot of mathy metals. Every change just now we're in some kind of jabberwocky tunenel shaken and then chimey rhthms if they ever do metal Wonderlad, this is jump after that robot rabbit and drink me eat me touch me me feel me swirling through the dimensions 2001 lightshows what othe thing OZ! The tornado! Do youthink they were watching Dark Side of The Wizard when they did this? We need more movies where people go to another world through crazy. Forbidden Zone.

59. R. Kelly — Trapped in the Closet (Chapter 4)
Movies that take you to a df=fferent diminesion. How do you pick one song? And do you just jo with the midget? The greatest hiphopera of the decade and beyond, one of the most brilliant things ever. Can there actually be one chapter, one track that rises about the rest? Chapter 4 starts with Kells speeding down the highway to see the wife he thinks is cheatin. And then he sings, "Woo Woo Woo Woo Here comes a police man" and if that isn't genius, whell then, in the video OMAR shows up and rights Kells a ticket and in your memory maybe that bit is the whole chapter but it isn't, cause Kells get home in this chapter and sneaks into his own house to catch his cheating wife and she tells him that dude on the phone was her brother just out from prison and Kells knew it and feels like a fool and then the two have sex and he narrates the whole thing he's going down on her then ther'e this romanict love making and then the wife goes nuts with ravaging the details in this thing! And then it gets to the most brilliant moment in the history of music. He gets a cramp and here's the line, "I say cool, climax. Just get off my leg!" And THEN ther's a twist ending too! But has anyone anywhere anyone anywhere ever written a song that involves getting a cramp during sex? Who hasn't gotten a cramp during sex in the vast history of sex, anyone who ever had sex got a cramp and it took until this song before anyone wrote a song about it. What else have we done? Write some songs about that dhit!

I think the dog just peed on the couch AND we're out of ice.

58. Destiny's Child — Bootylicious
I thought I was gonna put so many Destiny's Child songs o this but it turned out writing was on the last decade. I don't like switching bourbons when there's no ice. I need a buffer! I shake my jelly at every chance. The breakdown is all about jelly. She DOES use jelly. Damn you, Coyne. I think more people would tell me i wasn't ready for this jelly if more people realized A that it is jelly they are saying And B that they have jeyy and 3 that that jelly shoulkd be shook in my face and espoused upon.

57. Young Jeezy (feat. Kanye West) — Put On
That's right, he works for NASA. I don't know if YJeezy is bragging about frintin or talking about the clothes he wears and how he puts them on, I'm actually not sure about a lot of shit in this, but he sings about asparagus and Brock O'Lee and NASA and then it's all bragging and then kanye comes in and autotunes that he's faking all this shit he's Pagliachi crying on the inside cause no one respects him and his girlfriend dumped him. He comes out and he's like it' SI a put on. Honestly, it's Batman and the Joker You MADE me! I made you? You made ME. Theres' a a secret Kanye hidden inside.

56. Gnarls Barkley — Crazy
If you asked me to make this list five years ago, there probably woulfn'dt been a lot of Cee-Lo I fell in love with that Soul machine, but then this came out and it blew water. it's still the best thing either man ever did and for every person that thinks they're a little bit crazy, this song is for the people who scoff at you because we've seen crazy. Insane. It's as soft and reasonable and likable as this, but it's scary shitman.

55. Ricardo Villalobos — Enfants (Chants)
If you ever told me I would love a song of repetitive chants of children chanting in some foriegn language would've punched you. The last thing I ever want to hear is children. And SEVENTEEN minutes of children saying the same thing over and over again? Holy fuck who let you in the room? Who asked you? But this song is infection. It rolls and absorbs and ri[ps your rocks from their morings as it slowly moves it's huge mass down your continent sneding primative mandown into the southern lands and hunting siberian tigers and wooly mammoths and the reason why there are no siberian tigers and wool mamoths anymore is because we hunted them all while thse children made their chants and invoked some spirits that made the magic happen when the gof of the hunt granted us this delicous meats and and maybe some root vegetables.

54. Bon Iver — Lump Sum
So, I gues we're all supposed to be about all the other songs, but the pace of this one and the way clothes never come off as smotth as music but you sometimes tryo to keep the beat and you're not sure why because honestly someone else's buttons are hard enough to open as it is, but maybe you hit the couch anyway when the change comes and you can brush her hair back and see her eyes.

53. Yeasayer — Wait For Summer
Maybe it's not a mix afterall! This is a blast and a surprise. You never see it comig. I just love the way there's som much built on top of itself and then I miss my baby in a mess of things I don't know. It's that song style where you sing a part and move on and someone else sings the part and Kirk and mcCoy tried to teach Spock.

52. Vitalic — Poney Part I
I think brian is going to bed, and even with headphones one, i feel like this will finally rend the twixt between us two! I'm tired, but this is a fucking loud song even for my sleepy ears. I 'm saying: you can't not hear it loud. if you don't hear it loud it could just be any song but to hear it loud is to fucking hear this shit. Pound pound pound pound! Pound pound pound pound! then pum pum pum pum. pum pum pum pum pum. and then there's a voice and then it's doesn't poiund right away and then it pounds so fucking hard all the furniture winds up somewhere else when you're done. It is pounding so hard! So hard! Wher'es the bed? The night table is over there! You still own that comfortor! Is that the silt island of lost bedtime skittles?

51. Fuck Buttons — Teen Creeps
I thnk when I was 17, I might;ve forgotten I had friends listening to this song over and over again. I'm so glad this song waited decades and i feel so sorry for the kids of today just discovering this fuzzy paranoid feer of teen creeps. Whne anyone tells me they like Weezer, I'm supposed to tell them about this and save them like Jehova's Witness, but instead i let them be sad their band kepps getting worse.

50. Air France — Collapsing At Your Doorstep
maybe this actually is the greatest mixtape ever! Wow. I'm trying to think of something I didn't say last time: I don't know. The answer to the question "Will Anyone Ever Again Make One Great experimental ambient techno single you could play for your most anti-eloectronic friends? is answered right hear. I don't know if this is the most beautiful song of the decade, but it might be. If they ever put speakers in the unadulterated field, lets' listen to this when the grass is softest and the sun is perfect and everything feel s right and we can look at each other and wonder where we've been all our lives..

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