EARTH MINDS ARE WEAK

THIS SMARVELOUS TUESDAY

2011-10-26T21:53:00.002-04:00

My friend James took something I wrote the other night and had this animated man recite it. I have been in tears ever since. Truly, this is the future.

THIS SMARVELOUS TUESDAY

ZOMBIE BEACH! THE MUSICAL

2011-10-09T19:37:00.002-04:00

I did a couple drawings for the support page of ZOMBIE BEACH! THE MUSICAL, which appears to be a very worthwhile cause looking for your support. I'm going to try and do a little more work for them in the future, and I'll be able to do more and more, the more support they get, so look into it.

MARTINI MOVIES GOES TO THE DOGS (OF STRAW)

2011-09-22T10:27:00.003-04:00

Who says you can keep a good man down? Not the CLASS act at Martini Movies. The first in the inebriated film series missed by PB (out of town) and The Monster (knee injury), this Straw Dogs write up was cocktail commandeered by the always-present-in-spirit-never-before-present-in-body Cecil (with able assistance from Wrong). The marriage of author, concept and film couldn't be better...or more unsettling.

APOLLO 18: HOUSTON, WE HAVE A DRINKING PROBLEM

2011-09-14T23:18:00.002-04:00

Houston, the latest Martini Movies is go. Find out the real reason no one went to see Apollo 18 again.

PB and I thought we might not even post a review of this event, as it seemed lacking in both film and event, but PB pulled it out of the fire of flaming space capsules to reveal the truth as best as it could be pieced back together. I laughed at the whole thing, and there were a few surprises... all the more surprising to me, and I was there!

LONG-LOST CONAN ON MARTINIS TALE

2011-09-10T14:33:00.003-04:00

Martini Movies went to see Conan about 90 weeks ago. We finally dried up enough to post about it.

Adventures on Apollo 18 should follow shortly.

Something called Mojito Movies has now sprung up, as we continue our mission to dilute the original Margarita Movies concept like so much ice sitting in your tumblr.

MARTINI MOVIES

2011-08-05T11:38:00.003-04:00

"Welcome to the first installment of Martini Movies, the east coast response to LA’s own street-gang-turned-bloggers organization, Margarita Movies. Why Martinis? Because we have some fucking class, that’s why. New York is a city of car-less alcoholics, and we celebrate this with proper drinks before indulging in the latest cinema offerings.

"Our inaugural outing sees us gathering at the Belmont, a bar in the NYU-infested region of Manhattan called Union Square. Cecil is absent, leaving myself, BMAC, PB, the Monster and a press-ganged Wong to pre-game for Cowboys & Aliens, a movie about James Bond and old Indiana Jones fighting special effects. I should be more excited for this, as cowboys and space men shooting each other is exactly the sort of reptile brain call to action I can’t resist, but the trailers are all people looking super serious and not at all enjoying the ridiculous situation they’re in. Not to mention that Harrison Ford’s film choices of late have led us as a people to some very dark places, and it’s hard to shake the fear that Shia Labeouf may appear at any moment, swinging from vines and pissing all over our childhoods."

And so lamb ushers in a new era of people talking about movies you shouldn't see. As with most of my endeavors, it is really just the excuse some friends and I are going to use to get together, drink, laugh and see terrible movies. Something we should all be doing frequently anyway. Well, it's that plus we are going to tell you about the the time spent together. It sounds exciting doesn't it? Well, it is. We're all rather fun to be around, even when you're only around us electronically.

Martini Movies

THE STRANGE TALENT OF LUTHER STRODE

2011-07-25T13:13:00.002-04:00

Speaking of ass-kicking, my friend Justin Jordan and his partners Tradd More and Felipe Sobriero are on the FRONT COVER of the August issue of Previews. Their new series THE STRANGE TALENT OF LUTHER STRODE will be available to buy in October.

I've seen some samples over the past year? Two years? And the progress has been quite a thing to follow. FRONT COVER OF PREVIEWS! That's nuts. Asses must get back in gear.

SEPTEMBER 28 – JULY ummmm...25

2011-07-25T10:03:00.002-04:00

Where does the time go?

Well, my desktop computer died 10 months ago and I couldn't hook my broken-down laptop up to my scanner. That, combined with [whine whine whine], and there hasn't been much to post here. For ten months.

Anyway, moved to Brooklyn. Set up my new studio. Have not bought a new computer yet. But that should change in the next couple weeks. All part of my getting my ass back into gear plan.

Marcos (maybe half-jokingly) declared business back in business and set the target: SPX 2012. It's a good deadline. Something I think we can capitalize on. Or I can. At least one of us will be there! FOR SHOW!

Will probably start streamlining things. Finally throw the archives up online in fulls. Get to work.

Anyway. I'm back. And I'm never leaving again. Team Bring It!

There's a lot of important stuff I need to do

2010-09-28T00:01:00.002-04:00

So, here's the album cover for Muerte St. Testes' Ridiculometal... or something

COMPUTER DEAD, MAKING DUE

2010-09-27T22:20:00.003-04:00

With my olde computer gone, I've been trying to figure out how to make due. I need to install the drivers for my scanner — assuming I still have them — on the less-olde computer. I need to figure out what to do about the fact that my photoshop appears to be less-than-complete on this computer.

So, I just did a quick drawing for exercise, photographed it with my phone, adjusted it in iphoto and I'm throwing it up for throwing up's sake.

Oh, hey. I think I like that Gorillaz album a lot. I did not see that coming. Stylo and Glitter Freeze, I think.

More tests up onetime. Mort Estes. Morte St Testes.

ONE BIT IS ANNOYING ME, BUT

2010-09-06T17:31:00.002-04:00

THIS MIGHT BE IT

2010-09-04T10:56:00.004-04:00

Tossed the grid, went a tiny bit more playful, broke out the blue pencils. I think this could be it. I'll give it some time to breathe.

NOT QUITE THERE BUT CLOSER

2010-09-02T19:36:00.001-04:00

GRR TESTING

2010-08-30T20:33:00.002-04:00

Just trying to figure some more things out.I could've sworn I had this all figured out ages ago though...

AND LET THERE BE ANOTHER TEST

2010-08-29T20:26:00.001-04:00

I think I'm getting closer to the look I want.

ONE DAY IT WON'T BE A TEST AND YOU'LL ALL BE SORRY

2010-08-23T22:19:00.002-04:00

JUST ANOTHER TEST

2010-08-22T19:59:00.002-04:00

ANOTHER TEST

2010-08-14T19:11:00.001-04:00

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 4 PAGE 10

2010-08-09T21:43:00.003-04:00

I know I would've been happier with this if it went up in June and the next page was already done. But it didn't and it's not, so...

SOME NOTES

2010-08-08T18:39:00.003-04:00

Some notes on yesterday's test. This is something I've been working on, on and off, for nearly two years. I think it's worth getting the opening right...

THIS IS JUST A TEST

2010-08-07T10:57:00.003-04:00

Someone around here needs to get his act back together, posthaste!

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 4 PAGE 9

2010-06-22T23:01:00.003-04:00

Ok, trying to get things back on track. Let's do this thing!

SPRING MIX

2010-05-29T00:47:00.003-04:00

Try this while I work some comics stuff out over here. It's still spring, baby.

Twistin' The Night Away Sam Cooke
Ooo Baby Baby Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
Halftime NaS
Hello, Goodbye The Beatles
Undone (The Sweater Song) Weezer
Ragged Wood Fleet Foxes
Sing It Back Moloko
O What a Beautiful Dream Elf Power
Keep It Up Lindstrom and Christabelle
Group Dancers Charles Mingus
Teen Creeps No Age
A Place We Have Been To The Olivia Tremor Control
No Way Down Air France
Girlfriend Is Better Talking Heads
Come Sail Away Styx
What Difference Does It Make? The Smiths
Oliver James Fleet Foxes
Excursions A Tribe Called Quest
She Said She Said Beatles
Build Voice Dan Deacon

It's a list. I'm sure I could make an mp3 or something, but I'm not. I don't know how. It's a list. You might have some parts already. Put them together in this order. Yes, there's two Beatles tracks. Fine. YES, there's two Fleet Foxes tracks. Have you heard me say disinterested things about the Fleet Foxes? I have. Maybe you weren't listening. It turns out, they are a singles band making songs for mixes. They could've called the band Phillus Engles. Should've.

And it's a spring mix. It's for playing in the springs.

—Box.

WORLD'S SMALLEST CONTRABASS

2010-05-17T23:47:00.003-04:00

I couldn't find that famous "sad french horn" sound so I settled for an image of the famous "world's smallest contrabass."

I'm already regretting not doing a cartoon about the "world's smallest octobass." man, I used to be good at this...

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 4 PAGE 8

2010-04-30T20:31:00.004-04:00

Yeah, Stellan's got his groove thang back, baby. Word balloons got a little crowded and aren't super clear to follow, but that's because that drawing got in the way. I keep the bath water when I toss out the baby!

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 4 PAGE 7

2010-04-30T00:44:00.003-04:00

Really fond of this one. I felt like I was really making a comeback even though I've been here for years.

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 4 PAGE 6

2010-04-30T00:19:00.003-04:00

Page 7 is scanned, about to get that ready for posting tomorrow afternoon. Tomorrow night, I'll have scanned page 8. 7 is better than 6 and 8 is great.

DON"T HATE ME BECAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL

2010-04-26T21:29:00.002-04:00

Got a temp phone. Finally. Took much longer than I thought it would. Surprise! Work was pretty much making it impossible to get that done.

Things recently twitted:

"I SO can't believe no one has thought of this that someone MUST have thought of this. I know 2 ppl who will hate me. #giddy"
12:42 AM Apr 24th via web

"Finally got a chance to revisit this particular brilliance from Saturday. Oh, you will hate me."
9:30 PM Apr 26th via web

Hoping to get some arts up again. Starting tonight, should be up tomorrow.

POST MOCCA

2010-04-15T11:35:00.002-04:00

Some super quick notes on the weekend:

Thanks to all who stopped by the table this past weekend. Hope you picked up something you will enjoy.

Lucy Knisley is the awesome. A fantastic neighbor to have. Also, entirely humbling to watch someone that talented and nice a) sell so many books and b) draw so confidently and seemingly effortlessly and well.

Marcos and I probably won't be doing too many cons this year, but we might still be found wandering SPX or tabling in Philly.

Sorry if you tried to call me after 3AM Saturday morning (Friday night). My phone fell in a toilet. Hopefully, I'll have a temporary replacement tonight.

RAMEKIN'S ARCH NEMESIS: NIK EMAR

2010-04-01T20:01:00.004-04:00

We never had a name for the character Dennis Hopper had signed on to play in the Ramekin film (This was back when he would do anything, script or not. So, 1975-2008), and we never had a charater for the name Nik Emar that Kenny just came up with last week. So, I decided to combine the two. At least for now. All of this can be nixed. Or Nikked?

I also decided to go with a younger Dennis Hopper, Rebel Without a Cause era. Except I think I rounded his jaw a little more when i inked it. Shoulda been slightly sharper. Is this what he'll look like in the main story? Or is this him as a youth criminal from the flashbacks? Will there be flashbacks?

Oh, and since in my first character design stab he's just a guy in jeans and a t-shirt, I decided to Kirby him up a bit, give him that "you're not from around here" look all the girls clamor for.

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 4 PAGE 5

2010-03-31T23:18:00.002-04:00

Less than one week without Vitamin C pills and I've got the flu. I'm getting ready for MoCCA: printing, assembling. Or, I was last night. Now I'm art work and dying of flu. This won't be ready for MoCCA anyway, but I hope to reach the 20% mark before the show.

MORE RAMEKIN IDEAS

2010-03-30T21:17:00.003-04:00

So, after showing Kenny my first Ramekin sketch, he came back with this awesome President of Funk:

So, I decided to go back at my Ramekin drawing and give it another go:

A little less Who. Ignore the feet. I ran out of paper and should've cropped it better.

BAD IDEA? RAMEKIN DESIGN SKETCH

2010-03-29T21:29:00.003-04:00

With all the projects I've started without finishing, probably the last thing I needed to do was throw up a sketch for a RAMEKIN idea. But now I've gone done it.

Basically Gilbert Gottfried by way of the 80s anarchist cartoonists (McCarthy, Bolland, Sienkiewicz, McKeever, Baker, etc)

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 4 PAGE 4

2010-03-25T21:17:00.002-04:00

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 4 PAGE 3

2010-03-23T20:49:00.003-04:00

ABHOR DAY

2010-03-23T14:32:00.002-04:00

Dreaded stereotypical apology for not updating, complete with empty promises to resume updating. How boorish of me.

We'll be sprucing the place up in a bit, getting back to regular updating and all that. I'd love to say that the struggles of life got in the way of doing work, but i always get a little burned out in the winter. This time it was just exaggerated over... five(?) months. Ugh.

Anyway, blah blah blah.

Cliff Face Comics will be at MoCCA this April. Normally, now is when I would begin my big drawing push to get a book ready for this show, but the show was always in June back then. I think it's fair to assume that I won't have anything new for this show. Are you excited yet??? MoCCA 2010 will be the last Cliff Face convention for a while. We're going to take a break from standing behind tables for the rest of 2010. Hopefully, we'll still see you from the other side.

That's all, really. Far more interesting posting should resume as early as this evening!!!

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 4 PAGE 2

2010-02-11T00:29:00.004-05:00

There's ol' Balls Ears! Like LOST, the storytelling structure is changing. Unlike LOST, I promise no Kate episodes. I wonder if anyone will get my reference. Maybe after I build on it a little more.

Another page of something else also done.

On the other hand, the news of Alexander McQueen's suicide is the latest in a depressing string of stories.

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 4 PAGE 1

2010-02-08T23:23:00.003-05:00

Let's get back to business. Finished another page of something else as well. Will post at some point. And about to get back to work on another thing. Also worked out a more rigorous budget that I hope will let me do some really fun things this year.

DENNIS CULVER'S ARNIM ZOLA

2010-01-13T11:34:00.002-05:00

Holiday weekend coming up, and that means you should be looking at Arnim Zola. (from the very enjoyable sketch journal of Dennis Culver)

THIS USED TO BE THE FUTURE (TABLE OF CONTENTS)

2010-01-01T16:08:00.006-05:00

My top 100 songs of the decade:

100-72
100. The xx — heart Skipped a Beat
99. Yerba Buena — I Love You Too Much
98. Lightning Bolt — 13 Monsters
97. Dengue Fever — Tiger Phone Card
96. Christina Milian — Dip It Low
95. Summer Hymns — Mr. Brewer (Cackle, Cackle)
94. t.A.T.u. — Nas Ne Dagoniat
93. Kelis — Milkshake
92. Jabba & Nina Sky — Move Ya Body
91. Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya, Pink & Missy Eliot — Lady Marmalade
90. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland — SexyBack
89. Britney Spears — Toxic
88. Kelly Clarkson — Since U Been Gone
87. The Roots — The Seed (2.0)
86. Shakira — Whenever, Wherever
85. Dead Prez — Hip Hop
84. Mclusky — To Hell with Good Intentions
83. Tweet & Missy Elliot — Oops (Oh My)
82. 5.6.7.8.'s — Woo Hoo
81. Ghostface Killah — Nutmeg
80. The Decemberists — The Infanta
79. Lindstrom — Grand Ideas
78. RJD2 — The Horror
77. AR Rahman & M.I.A. — O... Saya
76. Bloc Party — Flux
75. Victoire — A Door Into the Dark
74. Nosaj Thing — Fog
73. Yeah Yeah Yeahs — Maps
72. Tool — The Grudge

71-50
71. Grizzly Bear — Two Weeks
70. Eminem — Lose Yourself
69. Interpol — PDA
68. Outkast — Hey Ya!
67. Fabolous — Breathe
66. Built to Spill — Goin' Against Your Mind
65. The Raveonettes — Aly, Walk With Me
64. Kanye West — All Falls Down (feat. Syleena Johnson)
63. Narcotic Thrust — I Like It (Original Mix)
62. Rob Sonic — Dyslexia
61. Apparat & Ellen Allien — Retina
60. Mastodon — The Last Baron
59. R. Kelly — Trapped In the Closet (Chapter 4)
58. Destiny's Child — Bootylicious
57. Young Jeezy — Put On (feat. Kanye West)
56. Gnarls Barkley — Crazy
55. Ricardo Villalobos — Enfants (Chants)
54. Bon Iver — Lump Sum
53. Yeasayer — Wait for the Summer
52. Vitalic — Poney Part I
51. No Age — Teen Creeps
50. Air France — Collapsing At Your Doorstep

49-21
49. Disfear — Get It Off
48. Neurosis — Given to the Rising
47. Deastro — Parallelogram
46. The Bug — Poison Dart (feat. Warrior Woman)
45. The Flaming Lips — Do You Realize??
44. Grandaddy — Broken Household Appliance National Forrest
43. Lady Gaga — Bad Romance
42. Cold Pumas — Jela
41. Hauschka — Blue Bicycle
40. Jay-Z & Punjabi MC — Beware of the Boys
39. Fuck Buttons — The Lisbon Maru
38. Au Revoire Simone — Shadows
37. Boris — Furi
36. M83 — Kim & Jessie
35. His Clancyness — So Bored (Wavves cover)
34. Fucked Up — Son The Father
33. Xiu Xiu — Hives Hives
32. Jesu — Conqueror
31. Wild Beasts — The Fun Powder Plot
30. Modest Mouse — Float On
29. Radiohead — Everything In It's Right Place
28. Alcest — Souvenirs d'un autre monde
27. Daft Punk — One More Time
26. The Field — Over the Ice
25. Santogold — L.E.S. Artistes
24. Modest Mouse — 3rd Planet
23. Aaliyah — Try Again
22. Amber — The Need To Be Naked
21. Friendly Fires — Paris (Aeroplane Remix feat. Au Revoire Simone)

20-1
20. T.I. — Live Your Life (feat. Rihanna)
19. Modest Mouse — Dark Center of the Universe
18. Aesop Rock — None Shall Pass
17. T.I. — What You Know
16. M.I.A. — Paper Planes
15. Kylie Minogue — Can't Get You Out of My Head
14. Missy Elliot
13. Rihanna — Shut Up and Drive
12. Talib Kweli — Get By
11. Ghostface Killah — Apollo Kids (feat. Raekwon)
10. Estelle — American Boy (feat. Kanye West)
9. Moderat — A New Error
8. Burial — Archangel
7. The National — Mistaken For Strangers
6. Radiohead — The National Anthem
5. The Antlers — Two
4. Lady Gaga — Just Dance
3. Missy Elliot — Work It
1. Beyonce — Crazy In Love (feat. Jay-Z)

Check out other people's decades:

Challenge originator Andy Khouri
Megan Harris
Brent Keanne
Nick Maynard
Keenon Autry
Nick Locking
Dave Robson
John Fellows

THIS USED TO BE THE FUTURE (20-01)

2009-12-31T20:42:00.006-05:00

When you read this it will probably be next decasde. Good on you. I hope you celebrated in style, whether this was a good year an good decade a good century or bad on all three.

Tonight, we're drinking one part Johnny Walker, juice of half a lemon, 1 tablespoon on sugar, about one part orange juice, a dash of angustura, a couple drops of grenadine, in a tumbler with ice garnished witha cherry and a slice of orance. Go out decade, go out like a lion.

20. T.I. feat. Rihanna — Live Your Life

I'm kind of surprised how much I loved both T.I. and Rihanna at the end of the decade. I think the robogirl and one of the two best southern rappers pretty much combined for a cheesy, uinneccessary sloganeerining that I need to type to one-handede, cause I am lifting my glass to it. This was the most im,portant lesson of theis decade, and this cot to be the closing credits.

19. Modest Mouse — Dark Center of the Universe
I'm not evcen sure what the best Modest Mouse song of the decade is supposed to be, but when that basstomtom combo rumbles in, I'm once again in that cosmic cspace War of Kings on the prairie Drax in Alaska major tom wth the quantum bands And then: I'm sure anyone can equally, easily fuck you over. m They make guitars sound like that and when this hits you in the headphones or across the room blaring from speakers or destroying Irving Plaza or alone with the alien, nothing else matters. Hold onto this, because again, they will easily fuck you over.

18. Aesop Rock — None Shall pass
i didn't know it was uncoil to like Ae, i knew it certainly wasn' cool, but I had no idea it was uncool. Fuckit buttanut nerdarhymesling . The sooper simple house beat, the ridiculous rhyme structure. You can't play this too loud and listening to him rhyme is like being five anfd watching your dad do something impossible. That's he guy you want to be. I am trying to help.

17. T.I. — What You Know
I seriousy thought that kanye or Jay Z would dominate the top of my hiphop lists, but here's T.I. in again double douce couce to the dome in the top twenty. I ddind'y like the TI TIP albuym. I didn't even like Rubberband man. But THIS album, playing out of evey car every storefront on one seroouisly hot summer this was the last grewasat anthem of the New York streets one of those summers you wonder if this id the last New York summer. it wasn't the last one, but it felt like it. Shit this might all be VALIS. Maybe it was the last summer. The red king is beaming some light in my eyes. What do i know.

16. M.I.A. — Paper Planes
Man, sometimes you know someone. Someotimes you know them and they put you in a place and no one knew that place wasn't any good. But then this comes on the bar and it was just before this came on every bar and this came on and i had a place to go. i remembered i was a hustler making my fame and where i was didn't matter and the people who didn't know mr didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was, no one else could listen to this song when they heard it, and i rememebred that i could be the little shit, because that's who you gotta be sometimes to get your little pieve.

15. Kylie Minogue — Can't Get You Out of My Head
maybe your life isn't my life, but i don't know. There are momen'ts. That time you finally meet people in school or online or whaever and someone says something about whatever. Masturcation. Nonone really talked aboutit. We koked. We insulted. But we never sat arounf the floor and talked boys and girls anbout this thing we all did and needed that release that amazing release that comes when you talk about something taboo. i was taslking to Willie one night at the old Blind Tiger anfd theis came on and he said, "I dont care what you thik, I can't get this out of my head. The song is what is it says it is. It's fucking 2001. The movie is the monolith. The song is something you can't get out of your head. Contemplating the movie makes us evolve. Getting this into your head means you can't fget this out of your head.

14. Missy Eliot — Get Your Freak On
HOLLA! This is a great song. but that's the motherfucking turing point. Get your freak on. Its a call to action. Did i say this already? It's a call to action. This si the marching orders. This is Patton this is the vital fluids I think we'd all see oursleves tewn years ago staring at us across the devoid and we would see the aliens we had become. We had to get some freak on and then we came back with evil goatees and we couldn't touch ourselves cause the uinivesres might explode.

13. Rihanna — Shut Up and Drive
This migth surprise you, but i don't go to a lot of clubs where they play the latestyed r&b and dance songs, so i was a little behind on Rihanna (oy! there's a visual i'll take into the next decade). I don't talk a lot during it, but i love smotth limosene rides anyway. This song is fantasy wish fulfilment. You know that if you close your eyes hard enough, you might acrully have her yell at you like Gianna Michaels and tell you to get your fucing act together, man up, stick a bayonet on it if necessary and get to fucking work. infrastructure motherfucker.

12. Talib Kweli — Get By
You know the scene when Cutty goes out and runs through baltimore and he sees all the stories and he's lisneing to some Curtis? This is our morning somng. I don't jog anymore, but someotimes i gotta get somewhere in the morning and sometimes it doesn't sound even remotely worthwhile. Sometimes you just need to get by.

11. Ghostface Killa — Apollo Kids
Maybe some of the best words ever spit (the Raekwon lines are great too, but already). I think this was the trick Nick pulled once:

Yo, check these up top murderous
Snowy in the bezzle as the cloud merges
F.B.I. try and want word with this
Kid who punked out bust a shot uip in the beacon
Catch me in the corner not speakin
Crushed out heavenly, U.G. rock the sweet daddy long fox minks
Chicken and brocolli, Wally's look stinky
With his man straight from Raleigh Durham, he recognized Kojak
I slapped him five, Masta Killa cracked his tiny form
E'rybody break bread, huddle around
Guzzle that, I'm about to throw a hand in your bag
Since the face been revealed, game got real
Radio been gassin niggaz, my impostors scream they ill
I'm the inventor, '86 rhymin at the center
Debut '93 LP told you to Enter
Punk faggot niggaz stealin my light
Crawl up in the bed with grandma,
beneath the La-Z-Boy where ya hid ya knife
Ghost is back, stretch Cadillacs, fruit cocktails
Hit the shells at Paul's Pastry Rack
Walk with me like Dorothy tried to judge these
plush degrees, said the cow, wrap the fees
Gettin waxed all through the drive-thru
Take the stand, throw my hand all on the Bible
and tell lies too, I'm the ultimate
splash the Wolverine Razor Sharp ring, Dolomite
student in role holdin it

[Chorus: Ghostface]
Aiyyo, this rappin's like Ziti, facin me real TV
Crash at high-speeds, strawberry, kiwi
As we approach, yo herb, the Gods bail
These Staten Island ferryboat cats bail
Fresh cellies, 50 thief up in the city
We banned for life, Apollo kids live to spit the real

[Ghostface]
A pair of bright phat yellow Air Max
Hit the racks, stack 'em up Son, $20 off no tax
Street merchant tucked in the cloud, stay splurgin
Rock a eagle head, 6-inch height was the bird
Monday night Dallas verse Jets, dudes slid in with one hand
Two culture-ciphers, one bag of wet
Heavy rain fucked my kicks up
Wasn't lookin, splashed in the puddle
Bitch laughin, first thought was beat the bitch up
Mossied off gracefully, New York's most wanted tee-ball hawk
Seen the yellow brick road, lust of pastries
Same Ghostface, holy in the mind
Last scene: Manhatten Chase
We drew the six-eight digit in the briefcase
Rawness, title is Hell-bound
Quick to reload around faces, surround look astound

DISCUSS.

And now it's time for a breakdown. Man, I know my decade wasn't your decade, but i hope someone gets something out of my sums. Maybe you see a little bit of you reflected in the glint of an i or the cross of a t. I will say there are things i left out. I didn't inclufde anything by people i know personally (although that's not why i left out Bjork and Moby ah, i think those tales of nothingness might end tonight, finally). A lot of songs that mean the most to me are songs i can't tell you about because i'm not sure how to help you hear them. I think Blogger is supposed to give me more capapabilitiesm, but the new functions don't work for me, so i'm stuck eith the old, but if i could i still souldn't because obviously,m the music the meant the most to me was the music of the Suave Prospects.

I guess you can go here. I'd listen to The Body Malone. I don't know who maintains our myspace these day... if anyone does... but it hasn't been maitained in forever. I don't know. Whatever.

Top 10:

10. Estelle — American Boy — feat. Kanye West
So, i like the idea of being somoene's boy, and Estelle sounds like i's like that, and i'm American, and i always prefer girls coming to me going. And i think these girls are more international than me. At some point i became domestic. I'm not sure how i let that slip. But You gotta accept. Embrace. And become moreso. Plus Kanye! i have no patiences for anti-Kanye sentiment. Just like I have no patience for the hatred of clowns. I probably have no patience for you, either. Fucking Taylor Swift. Fuck that fake Roswel looking girl with her fake video about a fake sentiment and her fake song that lies to girls. Fuck that shit. No one shoulda let her finish. Anyway, this is fantastic. A lot of livingroom dancing went to this song. A lot of bad dancing on my part, but it was real, and this about something real and real bad dancing to a real great song will always be better than fake dancing to a fake song sung by some fake person. Seriously though, this is some joyous shit, but people been needin gettin a yelling at. Enjoy the fucking joy motherfuckers and stop ruining shit!

09. Moderat — A New Error
The song of the last year of the first decade of the seventh sun of the seventh son and the house of the rising sons. It's supposed to be a blue moon tonight. An articalle i read claimed people standing in Times Square would be able to see the second full moon of the month. People in Times Square. Apparently New York can't afford blinding light plution this year. Calafiore! Can you see the blue moon?! This is the song of the year for me. I think there's actually one song from 2009 ahead of this, but that song is like time travel. This was this year. Best techno song of the decade, that circular rythm and the timelapse streaming headlights along the jughandle this is getting from here to there. This is the journey. This is rain and snow and wind and walking and running and taxis and the subway and hands and bodys and this is her eyes at the right moment looking over a glass a straw still barely in her mouth this is getting there as quickly as possible and shirts flying across the living room and laughing this is the world moving faster than you and then you stopping for a second before you overtake the world. I ran faster than anyone i knew this year. I was running for more than six months and I've only stopped now to read this shit. I experienced relativity in all it's metaphors and I got closer to the speed of light than anyone should dare.

08. Burial — Archangel
i went off on this one in a future blogpost former message board post. So I won't talk about alternate realities or the park or drinking of alternate Earths or anything like that. Tonight, this song isn't split between realities. i can crab this baby like i sometimes can. it's one seemless. if someone advertised the night I dream of having this is the jingle. This is my hype willaims and terry gilliam directed at the loungean everyone is there. Gin and juice.

07. The Fucking National — Mistaken for Strangers
They didn't play this the day we saw them. You knew immediately that they didn't play irt. YOu knoew this was the one. The one where Joy Division and leonard Cohen mumbly bojangles finally merged with morphin and made a nearly perfet song. Two ships passing in the night. You get mistaken for strangers by your own friends. Who are you? This was the refrain soe people kept asking me and i kept asking myself. Who are you? We asked it at different times. The stranger they didn't recognize was usually me, the stranger they thought we me to a t was the one i didn't know.

06. Radiohead — National Anthem
Running home to stream Kid A a week before it came out. I made that apartment dark. This was a band every album was better than the last. I didn't know it, but this would be the last time this was true. this was the tip of the bell curve. Who knew we were on an iceberg when that goddam ship hit us. Anyway, this shit freaked me out and then this bass kicked my ass. It kicked my ass through the couch in my dark living rooomm alone. it's build and build forever. Somoene sadi Americans like are fucking crescendo and welll: National Anthem. This shit crescendos you before it turns to entropy of horns like Bill Pulman in Lost Highway when aabatebjsajdzhcdnbcdbjcdbjxzbjkbn HORNS! I mean, it even underminse eveything. He startes singing and your all lilke maybe that was the decrescendo but then... And to see this live with full horn section. Statue of Liberty glowing behind them in Jerset City a walk to see radiohead play the national anthem in front of the stustue af libery. Shoulda called the album Fuckin A.

05. The Antlers — Two
So. I went to see the Antlers play a couple weeks ago. One of the est concerts I've been to, even if every single one of you bailed on me. I found some Russian-lookin guy from Chicago. I found a gorgeous black girl. I found her Clark Kent boyfrined. He rubbed my shoulders while I wep-t. The whole show was am,azing. but this song. I could not stop crying. I have never cried at any concert ever. I went to a show where i stole a g string. And I went to a show where i almost hooked up with Donna A but then knocked a table of drinks on her instead. I went t o s a show and a girl plated my body like drums. And I went t o a show now where I cried. I wept. I was beautilful.

This song. This came out this year, but it's not the song of the year. It's the song of 2005. This album. This band. This guy. He makes an album called Hospice for fuck'se sake. Let's do a whole album about dying alone and with someone else. Songs about watching everyone else watching you die. All the shit of death. Children dying. The thing about that buffy episode? The body? Where it captures all the not tv cliche shit and instead is all about the boredom and the stupidity and the pitiful sight and experience of death. Nothing is stupider than fucking death. It's the fucking stupidest thing in the world. Anyone who reduces the stupidity of death to righteousness or justifyablenss or cleverness or shallowness doesn't undestand the stupid fucking joke of death. It's nonsense. It's pointless. It's worthless. It's the worst thing in the fucking world. I'm tired of dying. I'm tired of being alone. I guess I'm glad I remember you when i don't know why I'm putting up with stupid shit. And maybe losing you reminds me not to stop. That life is more important than existing. But then: that's the joke again. Why lose something great just to remember that things should be better? Nothing i do will ever make up for it, but i might not have tried so hard if I hadn't. But then, soemtimes too I shut down when i should be moving faster. The joke. The fucking joke. No one believed you. We thought that you were lying. That was four months before you died. I guess I'm glad we went skinny dipping after your wake. The joke needs a punchline. Fucking death. Fuck you.

04. Lady Gaga — Just Dance
Just dance. Just do it. L:isten. We hav a lot of work to do. A lot. Why diid I answer the phone. ? Well, I guess I can end the year listening to my mom tell me how good the fourth Die Hard movie is! Where was I? Just dance. Just do it. We havve a lot of work to do. A ot. But right now. Right this minute. What are you going to do? Just dance. Like get yr Freak on, its the call of action, unlike it, you can do it too. And i like doing it together.

03. R. Kelly — Ignition (Remix)
Have you heard the non-remix? Why does that even exista assa song/ Man. Serious. So this was the song that broke the walls of Jericho (prodiy warning1). This made me stop being so goddam 90s. We were so fucking serious. Andy's big bit about this decade was his transformation from that guy to the guy that finally embraced it. Embrace it. Kells! I could not deny this song. This was a fat girl after a bad break up. Thgis is just one drink come on! This is that girl who will never go out with you but wants a drawing. You can not say no. TYOu can nnot. No one can say no. This is almost as close to a perfect song as you can get this decade witout being the two songs better than this. But on top of theat, i want to bring up two things:

first of all: We got food everywhere as if the party was catered.

That's wonderful bad writing. Possibly the greatest bad writing of the decade.

second: after the after party we got the hotel lobby

For the second half of this decade, Me Mike Marcos Bruce and peter and whoever else we have hosted the Hotel lobby after after party at SPX. These are macig nights adn the only thing missing is Kells. Kells! Come to SPX!@ We'll make a comic together! We'll have watersports! We'll drink! Dave NP will be there! Maybe Jordan! Maybe the Spanish Antonio Banderas Randy Chang! Maybe Kenny! Kelly and Kenny! Together again for the first time! Welcome to SPX, R Kelly, hope you enjoy the saty!

02. Missy Eliot – Work It
This almost is the most perfect song of the decade. There are more hit songs in this song than there are in fifty hit songs. Every line could be the best hook in the greatest hits of forever and they're all squeezed together like charmin. Don't squeeze it? Don't listen to that old man. Squeeze that shizzle. Squeeze the Missy. Put your thing dowon and reverse it. Again, I railed on this alread and i don't know how much more i have to say, but damn. Damn. Every bit of this song is science. And not the boring science the science that makes a race of Ape men that take ove rht e world that kind of science. Godzilla ascience. kaiju sex music. Go badunkadunkdunk. If you got a big whoooo1 Last thing. one of my dad'
s favorite bits is sticking his finger out the open fly of his pants and making elephant noises while faking erections. That's in my chromosomes. missy wrote this song for me. Now i gotta write a song for her. She deserves is.

I'm out f drink! 17 minutes to go!!!! Beaujolais, yopu're my only hope.

01. Beyonce — Crazy in Love
So, this I knew was the song of the decade for a long time. My only fear was being sick of it i;'ve loved it so much so long. One time.

I forgot to get champagne! Actually. I forgot to get prosecco! The smart man's champagne. Beougolais, what wil you do for me. Beyonce what will you do for me? Jay Z what will you do for me? New year what will you do for me? Decade what will yuou do for me? Ladies what will you do for me? Al;l the fellas what will you do for me? Comics what will you do for me? Friends what will you do for me? Countrymen what will you do for me? lately what will you do for me. Play the song. We're running out f decade!!!!!!!!!

Oh, it's my girl, B. and my boy, Hov.

Dentist Elbows. Ranch-filled Hot Dogs. my friends. The best friends anyone has ever had. it's not always the easiest ride, it's not always the driver in the drivers' seat. We were fantastic. The documents of our passing will be legend. We will love hard. Friends. Lovers. Passers by. We will love hard. We are crazy in love with each other only one time. The time that lasts as long as we are together. Our love makes us crazy. our crazy is what keeps us together. its the good kind. the great kind. the I just walken in this joint and made it epic kind. We are in love. Fucking embrace that shit. love hard, die dutch.

I want to grab a hold of all you motherfuckers.

DO YOU WANT PUNCH?

2009-12-23T21:59:00.004-05:00

Ok. This made a lot of punch. Too much punch! Don't make this much punch. Make less.

The punch I made for Christmas:

Two cups (500 ml) Bourbon
Two cups (500 ml) Brandy
Two cups (500 ml) White Rum
Two cups (500 ml) Gin
One and a half cups (375 ml) Malbec
30 Dashes of Angustura Bitters
Two cups (500 ml) Orange Juice
Two cups (500 ml) Lemon Juice (freshly squeezed... took hours)
Two cups (500 ml) Lime Juice (freshly squeezed)
Five cups (2500 ml) Simple Syrup
6 oz Raspberries (muddled)
6 oz Blueberries (split)
8 oz Strawberries (sliced)
1 Granny Smith Apple (diced)
1 Pear (diced)
1 Pineapple (diced)

Mix all the alcohols and juices and fruits in a great big, giant bowl/pot. Cover. Let it sit overnight. Serve in glasses full of ice. Cut with club soda (if you're in my family and you think "it smells like alcohol!"). Garnish with a maraschino cherry.

If I did it all again, I might increase the parts per of simple syrup. Maybe reduce the malbec. I think it smells like raspberries, but what do I know?

THIS USED TO BE THE FUTURE (49-21)

2009-12-21T20:13:00.006-05:00

Quarter cup of Jim Beam, half a lemon's worth of juice, quarter cup of simple syrup (not heated), a few shakes of angostra bitters, ice, shaken, in a tumbler.

My friend Keenon is doing youtube links for his songs. i'm going to se if I can manage that. Hmmm... the sound quality isn't great. Also, many aren't actually videos at all. They're just accompanied still images. Tis the season!

49. Disfear — Get it Off

What a way to start! Or, should I say, whattawaytastart!!!!!!! I've never listened to Disfear before and bought this D-Beat, hardcore album solely because a guitarist from Entombed had joined the band. i almost always listen to this when getting off the World Trade Center to psyche myself up for the coming night. I just wannaaaaa Get it off! Get it Off !Get ist off!!! Get it off! Yeah!

48. Neurosis — Given to the Rising

it actually takes a little while for the awesome to kick in on this song. Right now, we're in the breakdown and I'm trying to rmember why i put it up so high. Dark, sludge OH! Then it gives to the Rising! The fatal flaw in maaaaan!!!!

47. Deastro — Parallelogram

I got all this guy's stuff just because I loved this so much! Bop diddy bopbop diddy bop bop diddy diddy bop This is the brightest shiniest song in the world like golden goblets spinning in an angel's eyes. Redeems the world this one song. If some alien ever comes down to questino humanities worth, this will be our klaatu barada nikto and THE. EARTH. WILL. NOT. STAND. STILL. We will shake booties.

46. The Bug feat. Warrior Queen — Poison Dart

Adding a splash of OJ this time. My goodness. liquid candy.

I think Ben Sansum introduced this to me last year. I distincly remember thinking, "Someone has finally made dub you can listen to!" I've seen it in action, and in action and I get it. But to actually listen to? And then I heard it again and forgot i already had a copy of it so i got one, and I distincly remember thinking, "Oh that's great." And then I think Kevin Church included in his best-of-the-year list, and I thought, "Oh man, I love this song! Why don't I have a copy?! It's time to give in." So I bought a copy. i now have three different digital copies of this song. The one 'm listening to right now is my favorite though. Anyway, that shit pounds and it's half as slow the closer it gets to earth. And it's a huge sound pound.

45. The Flaming Lips — Do You Realize??

i don't man, say what you will, but he's asking you if you realize you're gonna die, man, t's deep shit man. Everyone's got to have a carpe diem thing to link to and don't tell me it's trite when you're all caught up in something and you forget it or it doesn't apply to you at that moment because you got responsibilities and shit. We all forget, and it's nice that there's a reminder that sounds this good.

44. Grandaddy — Broken Household Appliance National Forest

If you told me these guys and Grizzly Bear were the same guys, I would believe you. Galactic Woods Cabin Ghost Epics. Plus, once the fuzzy fuzzy kicks in, the whole thing kicks in. Rocky fuzz. Also, the title is half the chorus and it's one of the best choruses of the decade.

43. lady Gaga — Bad Romance

oh hell yes I'm including the official HD video with this shit. If, for some reason, you haven't seen tis thing.

So, ther's some hatar scuttlebutt for lady Gaga, is what I've been told. Amazing. You whatnots. Do people really have so much time on their hands they can resist this? Anyway, this is the song for New Year's Eve. Love love love I want your love. This could be in the top three if i had a little more time with it, but we're running out of decade! Everything is perfect, and i can't wait to have the night this was made for. I want your bad romance. i can't think of anything i want more right now, and i've had some. Love beautiful, end it ugly.

42. Cold Pumas — Jela

i've listened to a surprising number of rhythm-heavy noise band duos over the decade, and a few get in here: Lightning Bolt = less dancey, No Age = more dancey, Cold Pumas = let it bounce little bear. Especially with jela. I could pogo this so hard, you'd call me Walt Kelly.

41. Hauschka — Blue Bicycle

Sorry, no video. Maybe this will work?

looking for the video, I discovered Hauschka is a dude. This is very disappointing. Oh well. "prepared" piano, cellos and exactly the sort of thing you expect to hear when you're having your "I'm in a film!" moment. You're riding a train and Jason Shwartzman is sitting across from you, or you start squinting a Luke Wilson, everything is meaningful and you're looking out a window, brooding, you wish you had a rooftop to brood upon, but that lousy Daredevil is always kicking you off. "My corner! My corner! You find other corner!" Daredevil is such a jerk. So now I'm on a train and my face is pressed up against this glass and i know i shouldn't have left, but i got things to do, baby. Things to do. It was a mistake, alright? But there's no way in hell I'm taking it back because we still have half the third reel to go and what? Oh, this is the part where I realise I screwed up and changed my mind? i'm going to run around looking for you as soon as this song ends/ is that what i'm doing? man, this had better not be 12 Monkeys.

40. Jay-Z and Punjabi MC — Beware of the Boys.

Man, i really thought raga would conquer music for three minutes back then. I still think that if jay wants to be Sinatra, this is his new York, New York. Screw that Empire. This is Knight Rider, raga and Jigga functioning united Nations shit. New York, India and Germany.

39. Fuck Buttons — The Lisbon Maru

I don't know a what a lisbon maru is. It sounds like kirk might've done it in Spain though. Tiberius slept here. They said it was impossible, but he cheated. Whatever. This is the promise of the Fuck buttons. This is the olympic themesong for the Awesome Olumpics! No more crappy olampix! No! Thise is the AWSWSWOMWE Olympics!!!! And this is what we're running for! I've got a torch in one hand and the Nazis held back with the other Hitler, we will prove you are not the master race with torches and soccer and triumph and swimming and then maybe apartheid will be ended with Bourne soccer and then people will run in chariots of fire, and the natural will hit the lights and Erika Johnson and Frasier's wife will be there to try and seduce us like Racquel Weltch. And then the Nazis will learn they can't mess with us and Kirk.

38. Au Revoir Simone — Shadows

Sure, I suspected cuteness, but this is the first time I'm seeing the video. If only yhte video had the mp3 sound quality and didn't low down my ancient computer i could type and oggle. What evs. This is what a pretty pop song should sound like . Exactly. it;s prettty. Musicaly pretty. And poppy. And that organ is a little dark. I'm incorrigible!
(I actually hate the message a little bit and usually run away from girls who tell me they are weka without me... it's not my shadow— that's actually me)

37. Boris — Furi

Um... this is a live version. it's not quite as recorded.

i don't know what "furi" means in Japanese, but i'll tell you what, it might mean "Fury" When these guys go furious hooky psychedelic metal, they win. They win a lot. This song is like the world series of winininnning. Get up! Guitar! Hero! Get up! guitar! Hero! i don't care if that's not wha tthey're saying with their words, it's what they're saying with their guitars!~

36. M83 — Kim & Jessie

The fan-made video has better sound and embedding. Why wouldn't you want to embed it? Oy.

So, i had an M83 song and i liked it. Then I heard more and freaked out. I was punching the internet and demanding someone someone someone tell me who these people are someone tell me! Who are these people. Two songs couldn't be more different. Both good, both so different. Then I ate everything M83. And then Kim & Jessie. Remember when 80s revivalism started in 1990 and ever since then every 19 year old girl has rediscovered the 80s? On Friday, a girl thought doing Creep karaoke was dumb, and that we should be doing something cool like Journey. You weren't even alive for Journey! You just turned 24! This relationship will never work. Creep is a good song. We were teenagers when Creep came out. We've already done about 12 80s revivals. Stop revivaling the 80s! You look like a bunch of Renfesters! Thanks for the numer, but I don't think I'll call you. However, yes, thanks for the number. I t does make me feel good about myself.

So, you know how we all idolize the 80s? This is the song we all think came out then. But it didn't it came out in the oos. This is Our false memory rendered real like a sci-fi machine. This is Kim & Jessie. This is the M83 and they don't toss shit out the windows and have plague like they had in the real Renaisance, they play human chess and call you milord and give you big legs of meat and there's a beer tent, but everyone is beautiful.

35. His Clancyness — So Bored

no video. here's a free mp3 link!

I didn't get into the Waaves very much but then people started covering them and revealing great songs beneath all the brbsfrhbgsdibfdfzbg... Anamanguchi did a great microhouse cover and then His Clancyness basicall y did it up. Bows. Gold paper. He hedrixed your dylan. Cobained your Jesus. This is fantastic. It's I'm so tired the way whenever i think I'm so tired I start singing I'm so tired, when I'm so bored I can't help but sing this song. Also, there's ripped jeans to shorts, sunkissed and curved, and there's not likeing jerks. No one likes jerks.

34. Fucked Up — Son the Father

There's also some cool live versions of this.

So sometimes on All Songs Considered, they get this dude to walk acreoss the studio and tell them what non-sappy new music is out there. Enter Canada's Greatest Gift since... Neil Young? Reimported drugs? The X-Files? Drawn and Quarterly? Brian Adams?

Eithy brazillon guitars. That's what you get. then the screaming starts. This is the most hardcore pink floyd ever sounded. holy shit. When I decided ths was the Fucked Up song, i forgot how awesome it was. was like, come on, this is awesome. Why aren't you feeling it? Usually it feels beter and all the pieces are there. Why isn't this working. Tonight i turned the volume up a little too high. This is a little too loud, My ears are bledding a litel mamAZzmzzy head is starting to get lost in space outer space. This song is one of the greatest songs of the decade. I'ts greatnetsss mad be understated. Oh god indeed!!!!!!!! I'm trying to add exclapasion pints to the high hat beat: 11 1 11111 11 111 !!!!!!!!!!! Now it's just swirling and fucking with ne.

33. Xiu Xiu — Hives Hives

This is a live version and not the version I am listening to. The quality is rotten.

This is the maybe the hardest song to talk about. It's about AIDS. Hives is HIV. This song is a bit transcendent. This The it's noisey and trancey and soft loud soft loud and epic and fragile and sad and uncomfortable and holding you safe in it's arms and painful. and beautiful. Sorry I don't have a better verion on the page.

32. jesu — Conqueror

Really, all these songs work so well together. This is the most beautiful thing Justin from Napalm Death ecver did. Big huge shoegave. I need some dimmer lights for this or nothing but bright sun. All dark or all bright. This in between is shitting me. Turn off some light sa nd get your sorry on or run through some grass go go go! Actually, walk around a tthe end of the night trying to fing teh subway. Walk the opposite way of pretty girls so you can see there faces and watch therr giggles get closer. Doppler pretty when you can.

31. Wild Beasts — The Fun Powder Plot

I'm in love. This just came out a little while ago, and it's basically Antony of the johnstons playing singing to ultra-danced up the Smiths and then he says "This is a booty call, my boot, my boot, my boot" i don't know what "Donkey Jar Diction" is, but i don't know what a Fun Powder Plot is Either. Do you know what a Money monet is? Exactly. What about that Trogs song.? Right. Put on some eyeliner or something.

30. modest Mouse — Float On

And here's Modest Mous doing the Cure and filming it. Or recording the adio/. I wish we hadn't missed the window on audio sex tape scandals. It's my favorite band. It's the last truly great song they've done. And it is great, even if it was on the radio. That's ok. We'll all float on.

29. Radiohead — Everything In It's Right Place

Surprizingly, this doesn't fit in that well. ironic or proof that i'm not making the greatest mix playlist ever? You decide. I love the way this hums so heavy for so long. You can listen to his words, but I'm someonwhere in thos chords.

28. Alcest — Souvenirs d'un autre monde

Yeah, there's no bass on thes e youtubes. needs more woofer.

Frenchshoegaze black metal. I assume they're all being very ernest here, but maybe not, They are french. But it's black metal and there's a little green girl playinf a flute in the woods. This is jesu taken to another level of high, elevated upthereness. Big big swooshing fuzzy guitars and trying to french your way into heaven. You can listen to this in the morning when you go to work and you can liten to this when you come home. You can listen to this with thte lights out and you can listen to this in the rain. It's sad and it's happy and its a dream of someone you loved and lost. and still love and miss and in the dream you're together still and you're trying to get her to go to the island, but she says she can't it's your turn and you think that's a silly thing to say of all the people who should go, she should go. But then you wake up and you realizes she was telling you she really can't go. But it's ok. I should go to the island/.

27. Daft Punk — One More Time

Again. there's no base. We're actually explicitly forbidden from using Alive 2007 in this list. No live versions of old songs, and Alive 2007 combines old and new and renders itself unusable! So, here's Did I say speaking of the French yet? I was gonna say that. A lot of Daft Punks' songs this decade ar actually a bit too thin for me, and they don't really become great until they're combined with something else, but this This is odl, Homework Daft Punk in the way that it initself is perfect. That's the longest breakdown in history maybe but then it's a revelation. i am always dancing when i'm lilisteing to this song. Alway. luckily, i'm not a very good dancer, so so few people even notice i'm dancing. But come on. message. beat. Horn synths. Uncrooss your arms and celebrate and dance so free one more time.

26. The Field — Over The Ice

Youtube and itunes were playing at the same time. and this went nuts. As much as i like the eeeeeeeeees It's the i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i I love the best. In a lot of ways, this song is totally reshaping the way i listen to music or expect it to sound like. 've listened to a lot of dance music and a lot of samples but this is well... it's hummy and it's fuzzy. again. There's a lot of fuzzy shit here. It wasa decade of fuzzy i guess. Did you enjoy your fuzzy decade? Yes you did! Yes you did! Go get the decade! Good girl! now bring the decade to me.

25. Santogold — L.E.S. Artistes

I guess the last "e' means it's ironic? man, if there's one thing new York has ruined, it's irony. new York might need to stop for a while and let someone else takeover, cause this shit is getting drastic. on the other hand, one night i spun so fadst around to this song i fell down. Don't spin when you're drunk on the dance floor. i mean, do it, because you will laugh, but don't do it witha drink actuallyin your hand and not wwhens o close to other people with drinks in their hands.

24. modest mouse — 3rd Planet

Here's that news van again. They're my favorite band, ok? I've seen them more than half a dozen times. yeah, we're not dancing anymore, but your heart felt good. I lika the science fiction. I lika the myths. I've read Cages a couple times. Creation Myths. I have one to. Everyone should have a creation myth, why not ty one to driving and circularity and why not have an awesome part sung through a megaphone?

23. Aaliyah — Try Again

I loved Aalyah so much. She's really the basis for everything good and terrible in R&B. Don't blame her for the terrible though. Just appreciate the beauty of the good. I have no special memory assciated with this song, i only have this song and how much I love listening to this song. wikiwikiwah

22. Amber — The Need to Be Naked

Try this!

Okay, this s pretty crass too, I guess. Musically, I mean. it's just a light fluffy not-quite trance song. Still, you know what, I reall ybelieve she needs to be naked with me. And if anyone has this playing and they're dancing and it's in fron tof me and they're lipsyncing, I will totolly believe they feel the need to be naked with me and they better not turn around and sing this to some other guy because then i will get angry and then the night will suck because i'll know i should just let it go, but i won't because I am dumb. it's a good thing i'm also a weekling and a coward, because there's no way i'm gonna do anything about my anger. So, it's best if we just focus un being naked. With me.

21. Friendly Fires — Paris (Aeroplane Remix Featuring Au Revoir Simone)

So, don't bother wth the original. it will suck the love out of you. This on the other hand. This is how I discovered Au Revoir Simone and this... this was very special and Paris. I can't believe i'm saying this. But I really thought we were going to go to Paris. I thought we were really going to do it.i love this song and i love listening to it and I think it's nearly perfect, but it was also a promise that i thought we were really going going to fulfill. Well, we'll always have that time we were going to go to paris, I guess.

NOW ON TWITTER WITH THE REST OF YOOSE

2009-12-21T10:15:00.003-05:00

This is the message where I tell you I've finally caught up to the rest of you in 2007 and signed up for the Twitter. So far, on Twitter, you will find exciting tweets like the last two directing you to this blog! Hopefully it won't be long before I find my proper Twitter voice, and I'll try not to narrate my life at 4-minute intervals (I'm looking at you, Stephen Fry).

Oh, justinfox23

THIS USED TO BE THE FUTURE (71-50)

2009-12-20T22:28:00.005-05:00

This Used to Be the Future was a Challenge posted by Andy Khouri to all and sundry to rate their 100 foavorite songs of the decade. The man is putting some serious work into it, posting mp3s and using spell check and well, it's all very professional. I, on the other hand, am getting increasingly blotto as i type. I am taking it serously, but my serious doesn't look like somethig you actually want to show other people. Tis the season!

In my previous post, I got all the way from Song 100 to Song 72. Then I got up and stretched my legs. Seemed like a good time. BUt i left off on a cliffhanger. My web browser is blocking the titles of the next songs and I'm at the point where anyhting could be a surprise to me. So where did we leave the dynamic Uno? danananaNAH!

71. Grizzly Bear — Two Weeks
josh brought up Grizzly bear the other night before everyone ditched me at the Antlers concert and i had to make new friends... but he saw me light up at the mention. MAn, everytime i listen to this album i love it more and more. If we do a best of the Decade 2007–2017 then this will be higher up there I'm sure. Did you know people in LA call 2001: A Space Odyssey call it Twenty Oh One: A Space Odyssey? Hollywood is crazy. Anyway, i don't know what i personallly invest in this song an but i know i love hearing it. it is haunting and spacey an Tommy James without the actually, i would love to go to the prom and dance to this song. Maybe as a chaperone. Ask around!

70. Eminem — Lose Yourself
So, i hadn't heard the song in a while but then Marcos and i were driving up from Philly after the little convention we did there and we actually had to use the car radio like it was a whole other century and then this came on and we turned that shit up because you know what IT"S STILL. And then, months later, the oppurtunity came and i blew it. Man, i shoulda listened to this song closer. Well, except the parts that talk about the actors, I'm not sure there's a digger dissonance than the moment when he mentions Mekhi Phifer. Anyway, whatever, raise your hand and keep a beat. Do it at home becasue I guess people laugh at you when you do it in public unironically,. Or so I have read.

69. Interpol — PDA
We. Have. All. These. Couches! 200. Whatever. I typed too fast. is he complaining about people making out in bars? Why is this called PDA? If you are making out in a bar and the bar is spinning around you and this song is playing it's awesome. You don't want to go home at all. You want to pull some muther goddamned couch out of a closet and fucking maki out in a bar on that couch! Everyone should see what you did and sometimes they will cheer. Ge t afucking standing ovation when you leave the bar and the next day play this song on your ipod and pretend this was the song playing because holy fuck you don;t know what the fuck song was playing last night you were making out so hard you got a fucking standing ovations!

68. Outkast — Hey Ya!
How come Big Boi's album is called Speakerbooxxxx/love Below by Big Boi but Andre's album is called Speakerboxxxx/the Love Below by Outkast. What the hell, Big Boi? Why the hate? This song is still fun. It will always be fun. I got nothing. Maybe it's just one of the most fun songs ever and when we are old ou children will still be dancing to this song even if they don't know what a polarois is, its the Twist and they still play that at weddings and we still dance and if you don't really, you're making a statemnt at a wedding/ Who shit in your hair?

67. Fabolous — Breathe
I thought this was gonna be the biggest song of the year. This was perfect. Breathe! Breathe! And then Fabulous is all Fabuluos' best and he really is. unfortunately it came out when rap songs went crunk and you had to rap at one sylabal per minute. I'm sorry that Fabulous didn't write Yeah! It's all flow. If you did an all-flow mix for Christmas of the Decade, that would be one thin mix, and half of it would suck. But the best part would have this.

66. Built to Spill — Goin' Against Your Mind
So last year Built to Spill and Dinosaur Jr and the Meat Puppets played and Built was doing all of Perfect From Now On and the whole thing was this great big loud psychadelic show but it turns out that a band doing their full album isn't all that exciting and I was into it and it was the first show i'd seen in ages but it wasn't... i don't know. The Perfect From Now On part wasn't magic. We had found a prime spot at Terminal 5 between the bar and the railing and you could feel this show in your bones but i almost got into a fight with this one guy who tried to talk over full psychadelic metal verion of the Meat Puppets and fuck you dude but this cheerleader esque girl apologized for him and said it was this group's reunion, which, oy, brilliant planning, and i thought she was just the ambasador, but it turnd out most of that group left and she was there to see Built to Spill and would occasionall y grab me and dance a bit with the songs but man, i don't think any of us thought it was the best thing ever and then Perfect ended and fucking Built to Spill actually showed up and these drums kicked in and marcos and I were leaning on the rail and going nuts for it and this girl start playing my back as drums a nd grabbing me for hugs and i keep thinking i shoulod, turn around and take advantage ot that but the song is getting more intense and he's telling me it's going against my minf and i don't know if that means i should go against my mind and not turn around or turn around because my mind is telling me not to turn around or if this is what's going against my mind and the thing going against my mind idsst the thing i'm fighting or should be going with and the floor was rumbling and the posts were shaking and my back was throbbing from the pounding that she is laying into me and I love this song but i still don't know if i should;''ve turned around or not turned around bcause holy fuck it's ging against my mind! She left beofre the last encore and the girl who was going to turn into my girlfriend texted me after and i went home wondering why i stopped going to concerts and i remmebered it was because of the smoking ban but I had quit smoking.

65. The Ravonettes — Aly, Walk With Me
I love this creepy little song. Don't walk with her Aly. Seriously. If haven't listened to this asong yet, you should get away from her. I can't even tell you what's going to happen because it's just an assault of noise , but i bet it's not good.

64. Kanye West — All Falls Down
I love Kanye, and if he didn nothing but this song I would still love him. I can still remember Evelyn's face when she heard some of these lyrics and I realized no one had ever really written this song before. How often do you get a song that's snever been written before? Man, i got myself a pretty hot jacket. i'm glad i got friends.

63. Narcotic Thrust — I Like It
I like it when we go to Extremes. I do. We used to make fun of this song and then I realized i wasn't laughing anymore. I do like it when we go to extremes. Not only in my dreas. This song isn't meaningful in an way. i'ts crass house. it's the least extreme song ever written. it's all about hating things that are dull and liking things that are exciting right? I hade the treadmill every day. I hate the mundane things they say (presumably not the treadmills) But it's all this semi-robot woman over some Webster hall 1993 beat and syths and the bright lights are beckoning her aqpparently because the song isn' distractiing her that 's for sure. But then you hear this som many times and if you just reduce yourself down to cardboard for seven minutes of something then man, you will also like it when we go to extremes. You will like it so much. I''m not even laughing!

62. Rob Sonic — Dyslexia
This song rocks my shit. I was making a party mis years ago and i knew something from this would be on it because every cool dudes party mix has some track on one knows, and i played the album and would put one track on and then get to the next one and o out that one on and then get to the next track and put that on and i was all like wait, i know there's one track that stands out so much i NEED it in a mix but i just kept adding tracks to the mis thinking they all belonged and then I would hit this and the roof of your house blew off the roof and there was another roof inside and it blew it off. It blows of roofs like Caruso puts on glasses.

61. Apparat & Ellen Allien — Retina
This stories the same, except this was for a mix i did for a cool party I was gonna throw but didn't for more than the obvious reasons. i got this off som whim and i hadn't listened to techno is forever but i listened to this and then I was grabing germans and Detroit and watching this great documentary about Detroit TRechno and falling in love like I was on Ricki lake and someone from highschool put me on a "How Do You Like Me Now" and was an ugly nerd like me once and then came out from back stage looking like a stripper and I was upset I didn't ask her out but now we were gonna go to the ground Round for dinner like we always wantss. Cello, robot highway, it's dark and hell is cold and uncaring. God you, look so hot.

60. Mastodon — The Last Baron
How do you do Rasputin and not get Mignola on that shit? The only thing this song needs is a cyborg gorrilla or a fish man. But I am starting to wonder about the order. Retnia flowed into this like Rasputin himself worked the magic. Anyway, the first thing said is :I guess they would say, we could set this world ablaaaaaaaaaaze!!!!!!" And then the earth falls. Over under some ocean of sweeling guitars. I think there's a magic crystal of time travel and a lost sister you can't let go of but together we could and then it kicks in with riffs! Metal riffs! But it's a tease. Then riffs! And then drums and then IT"S A WHOLE NEW SONG or rhthym! Then another song of pounding! Then rhthym. And it works not like a lot of mathy metals. Every change just now we're in some kind of jabberwocky tunenel shaken and then chimey rhthms if they ever do metal Wonderlad, this is jump after that robot rabbit and drink me eat me touch me me feel me swirling through the dimensions 2001 lightshows what othe thing OZ! The tornado! Do youthink they were watching Dark Side of The Wizard when they did this? We need more movies where people go to another world through crazy. Forbidden Zone.

59. R. Kelly — Trapped in the Closet (Chapter 4)
Movies that take you to a df=fferent diminesion. How do you pick one song? And do you just jo with the midget? The greatest hiphopera of the decade and beyond, one of the most brilliant things ever. Can there actually be one chapter, one track that rises about the rest? Chapter 4 starts with Kells speeding down the highway to see the wife he thinks is cheatin. And then he sings, "Woo Woo Woo Woo Here comes a police man" and if that isn't genius, whell then, in the video OMAR shows up and rights Kells a ticket and in your memory maybe that bit is the whole chapter but it isn't, cause Kells get home in this chapter and sneaks into his own house to catch his cheating wife and she tells him that dude on the phone was her brother just out from prison and Kells knew it and feels like a fool and then the two have sex and he narrates the whole thing he's going down on her then ther'e this romanict love making and then the wife goes nuts with ravaging the details in this thing! And then it gets to the most brilliant moment in the history of music. He gets a cramp and here's the line, "I say cool, climax. Just get off my leg!" And THEN ther's a twist ending too! But has anyone anywhere anyone anywhere ever written a song that involves getting a cramp during sex? Who hasn't gotten a cramp during sex in the vast history of sex, anyone who ever had sex got a cramp and it took until this song before anyone wrote a song about it. What else have we done? Write some songs about that dhit!

I think the dog just peed on the couch AND we're out of ice.

58. Destiny's Child — Bootylicious
I thought I was gonna put so many Destiny's Child songs o this but it turned out writing was on the last decade. I don't like switching bourbons when there's no ice. I need a buffer! I shake my jelly at every chance. The breakdown is all about jelly. She DOES use jelly. Damn you, Coyne. I think more people would tell me i wasn't ready for this jelly if more people realized A that it is jelly they are saying And B that they have jeyy and 3 that that jelly shoulkd be shook in my face and espoused upon.

57. Young Jeezy (feat. Kanye West) — Put On
That's right, he works for NASA. I don't know if YJeezy is bragging about frintin or talking about the clothes he wears and how he puts them on, I'm actually not sure about a lot of shit in this, but he sings about asparagus and Brock O'Lee and NASA and then it's all bragging and then kanye comes in and autotunes that he's faking all this shit he's Pagliachi crying on the inside cause no one respects him and his girlfriend dumped him. He comes out and he's like it' SI a put on. Honestly, it's Batman and the Joker You MADE me! I made you? You made ME. Theres' a a secret Kanye hidden inside.

56. Gnarls Barkley — Crazy
If you asked me to make this list five years ago, there probably woulfn'dt been a lot of Cee-Lo I fell in love with that Soul machine, but then this came out and it blew water. it's still the best thing either man ever did and for every person that thinks they're a little bit crazy, this song is for the people who scoff at you because we've seen crazy. Insane. It's as soft and reasonable and likable as this, but it's scary shitman.

55. Ricardo Villalobos — Enfants (Chants)
If you ever told me I would love a song of repetitive chants of children chanting in some foriegn language would've punched you. The last thing I ever want to hear is children. And SEVENTEEN minutes of children saying the same thing over and over again? Holy fuck who let you in the room? Who asked you? But this song is infection. It rolls and absorbs and ri[ps your rocks from their morings as it slowly moves it's huge mass down your continent sneding primative mandown into the southern lands and hunting siberian tigers and wooly mammoths and the reason why there are no siberian tigers and wool mamoths anymore is because we hunted them all while thse children made their chants and invoked some spirits that made the magic happen when the gof of the hunt granted us this delicous meats and and maybe some root vegetables.

54. Bon Iver — Lump Sum
So, I gues we're all supposed to be about all the other songs, but the pace of this one and the way clothes never come off as smotth as music but you sometimes tryo to keep the beat and you're not sure why because honestly someone else's buttons are hard enough to open as it is, but maybe you hit the couch anyway when the change comes and you can brush her hair back and see her eyes.

53. Yeasayer — Wait For Summer
Maybe it's not a mix afterall! This is a blast and a surprise. You never see it comig. I just love the way there's som much built on top of itself and then I miss my baby in a mess of things I don't know. It's that song style where you sing a part and move on and someone else sings the part and Kirk and mcCoy tried to teach Spock.

52. Vitalic — Poney Part I
I think brian is going to bed, and even with headphones one, i feel like this will finally rend the twixt between us two! I'm tired, but this is a fucking loud song even for my sleepy ears. I 'm saying: you can't not hear it loud. if you don't hear it loud it could just be any song but to hear it loud is to fucking hear this shit. Pound pound pound pound! Pound pound pound pound! then pum pum pum pum. pum pum pum pum pum. and then there's a voice and then it's doesn't poiund right away and then it pounds so fucking hard all the furniture winds up somewhere else when you're done. It is pounding so hard! So hard! Wher'es the bed? The night table is over there! You still own that comfortor! Is that the silt island of lost bedtime skittles?

51. Fuck Buttons — Teen Creeps
I thnk when I was 17, I might;ve forgotten I had friends listening to this song over and over again. I'm so glad this song waited decades and i feel so sorry for the kids of today just discovering this fuzzy paranoid feer of teen creeps. Whne anyone tells me they like Weezer, I'm supposed to tell them about this and save them like Jehova's Witness, but instead i let them be sad their band kepps getting worse.

50. Air France — Collapsing At Your Doorstep
maybe this actually is the greatest mixtape ever! Wow. I'm trying to think of something I didn't say last time: I don't know. The answer to the question "Will Anyone Ever Again Make One Great experimental ambient techno single you could play for your most anti-eloectronic friends? is answered right hear. I don't know if this is the most beautiful song of the decade, but it might be. If they ever put speakers in the unadulterated field, lets' listen to this when the grass is softest and the sun is perfect and everything feel s right and we can look at each other and wonder where we've been all our lives..

THIS USED TO BE THE FUTURE (100-72)

2009-12-20T17:43:00.008-05:00

This guy I know from the internet posted a challenge to the music-lovin' spoonful of us to rank the 50-100 songs of the decade that we loved best. I'm sure it was a mistake to join the challenge, but this whiskey sour in my hand says otherwise. The relevant info is in the graphic above, but it's well worth your time to read the initial post the initial follow-ups (3 so far). Andy is also keeping track of the other people joining in the challenge. And his posts will probably be better than mine because he's linking to amazon mp3s of cool songs and I'm not linking mp3s to arguably less-cool songs.

Butt hay!

With that bit of preamble behind us, let's dive head-first into the introduction.

I know a lot of people who think this has been a dreadful decade for music or simply gave up on trying to keep up or settled on all the music they'll ever want to hear again and again over and over. Me, I'm terrified of old age and figure the longer I can hold on to popular culture, the younger I stay (I also use a magic painting). So I keep ups. A little. In my way.

I wrote about a number of these songs already, and i'm going to try and not repeat myself even though you may not have read those thoughts yet. I will repost those writings here so you can read them and then they won't be repeated.

100. The xx — Heart Skipped a Beat
I walked inside The Randolph and the blond with the backless shirt yelled, "You missed her! She just left!" I mumbled an apology for my bad timing and found Justin. He was standing behind the bar, "One of you left a bag behind." "That was me." He got me the bag full of comics and plans for comics, we did mutual thanks, and as I made my way for the door, the blond yelled, "Make sure you call her!" I stepped out into super-cold, turned my ipod on to The xx's xx and started jogging (slip-ons and top coat jogging suit). I ran into 30-40 girls in matching black miniskirts and 4-inch stilettos descending a staircase. Futurism! This song started playing and it suddenly made sense to run foll-bore down Grand St. It's clipppy cloppy mumbly dreaminess soundtracked my Sophia Coppola moment and I sideways jump-dodged crowds, laughing with anyone who would laugh back and leaping over curbs and then at, like, three minutes there's a mild crescendo and more regular beat and I'm running faster than fast and everything lights is streaking. I stumble into Two Boots and nearly collapse on the V table, adrenaline and endorphins spilling out of my eyes and Brendan's girlfriend starts feeding me pizza and I turn to Kim and say, "I think I've just added a new song to my list."

99. Yerba Buena — Guajira (I Love U 2 Much)
This is the song of The Hard Grove Saturday morning brunch right around the time the new owners took over. Melissa (the greatest waitress ever), banana pancakes, fresh fruit, coffee that will make you cry anytime you drink what other places call coffee. And this song to wake you up. Do I love it 2 much? Probably not enough.

98. Lightning Bolt — 13 Monsters
1 2 3 4 we must lock the door
5 6 7 8 we must evacuate
9 10 11 12 we must prepare for
13 monsters
13 monsters

If the bass is the monsters, we don't stand a chance. If the base is our last defense, some of us might get out of here alive.

97. Dengue Fever — Tiger Phone Card
At first this song throws you for an Alyson Hannigan: you are a pasty nerd who trots globes and has a hot girlfriend and if only you could be together she would never let go. And then she complains that you only call her and open up when you're drunk. You are such a douchebag, pasty nerd!

96. Christina Milian — Dip It Low
There's 'a bunch of songs on this list and the whole reason is going to be: Out on the town + Girl who dances + (this song) = things popped. Also, she says, "backdoor." Christina Milly On's backdoor.

95. Summer Hymns — Mr. Brewer
We went to see Elf Power back... sometime. 'Old' Knitting Factory. Before they kinda went shit. It's the only time I ever bought anything at a show: an EP of covers and the opening act's CD. No wizards, no abstract sound collages, there might be an accordian, there's definitely some Doorsboarding in the bridge. I love all those Athens bands, but this is the song about shit thinking at work I like best. There might be one abstrat sound collage.

94. t.A.T.U — Nas Ne Dagoniat
I feel like we were all still on the Warren Ellis Forum when someone linked to the video of the hot Russian girls who were running through Moscow to protect their forbidden love. We were so young. I love the airplane whoosh, the chorus on the event horizon of annoying, the electro metal, whatever. It sounds desperateI'll run these rain-soaked streets with you.

93. Kelis — Milkshake
I want her to teach thee. I actually can't figure out how to dance to this unless I'm watching you after she has taught you. Thee.

92. Jabba & Nina Sky — Move Ya Body
I didn't really like this song for a while. I think I was against songs claiming to teach girls how to get dudes in clubs like they needed a song to tell them how to do that. i guess they need it to get the dudes they actually want though. Also, then you have a girl who lipsinks it to you and behind her face is two more Puerto Rican girls. Anyway, Dip It Low rules in effect.

91. Eight Hundred Women — Lady Marmalade

I know somewhere there is a Jada Fire/Lil Kim video. if there isn't... i don't even particualrly love the original, but this one has one has Lil Kim over a real beat, plus Maya and Xtina and Missy and Pink and it's a freaking We Are the World in a ruffled skirt and Bruce comes in and he isn't follwed by Kenny Loggins.

90. Justin Timberlake & Timbaland — SexyBack
No one even knew it went somewhere and then it was back and we were all like where did it go? This is it? This isn't sexy. Did you get a haircut or something? And then we went out and it was all like, "oh, this hair is fantastic."

89. Britney Spears — Toxic
Knock her all you want, but this is a song. it's not genius, but its... it's a song. It's a little weird. That whisling thing. Weirder people didn't make this something weird and she' the least weird person who ever lived./ Man, maybe it was Cathy Dennis. the internet tells me Touch Me (All Night lOng) was a hit in 1984. Holy fuck, how the fuck old are we? Cathy Dennis I was too young to be listening to that song. it's a good thing i don't have kids.

88. Kelly Clarkson — Since You Been Gone
This song isn't weird at all. This song is like those stories where Germans used computers to write the perfect joke. I flat out HATED this song even though Marcos told me I could use it as an excuse to look at her ass. And then we imagined what it would be like to be in her bancd. Playin drum and watchin her ass. That seemed like the worst reason to like a song. And then one night a lot of people were really drunk and that chorus blasted out and we were all jumping and shouting it and it was that rave scene in the 2nd matrix only awesome.

87. The Roots — The Seed (2.0)
Man, even people who loved the Roots didn't like the Roots in the 2000s. We were always excited about them, and then they did shit like Game Theory. It was like being that cartoon dog in a desert hat whith the cloth that hangs from the hat and you're running across the sands to the oasis and the dancing girl and it turns out it's a mirage and you're eating sand and that girl is Bugs Bunny and he doesn't even stick around. Any way at one point they hooked up with Cody Chestnut and mad e song about sticking sperm inside of you and they were on one of those late Night shows back when it still wasn't common place to take about semen in music aqnd then we were excitied about the Roots because holy hell, that's the opposite of the 15-minute anti incest rape poems they usually leave you with. And then they left us.

86. Shakira — Whenever, Wherever
I know, you're sick of it. You know why you're sick of it, because we loved it so fuckin g much we kept playing it and playing it. Fuck you telling me to play some real music and you put on some Dan Foggleberg. That voice is amazing. I would go to war with this song playing. The begining of Finding Private Ryan I would play this as i hity that beacj.

85. Dead Prez — Hip Hop
Dead Prez was never this good except when they wwee this good. This is the last great anthem of hiphop. i actually watched Chappelle's show because I heard this playing and walked in the room and was all, "What;s this then?"

84. Mclusky — To Hell with Good Intentions
I said a couple months ago that this didn't hold a canle to lightsaber Cocksucking Blues but then i was listening and I realized I was wrong all that time. marcos and kenny had about thirty of these guys albums before i ever heard of them. Fingering pulses they were. You can sing it with conviction and not believe a word. My love is bigger than your love.

83. Tweet & Missy Elliot — Oops
When Cindy Lauper did it, people still debate it. It was funny seeing an old lady suddenly realize what was going on. For this song alone, the answer to the Wu is always Missy.

82. 5.6.7.8's —Woo Hoo
i didn't know it was a cover until now. I thought it was just a song that sounded like a cover. Like A Tarantino movie. I'm dancin' with myself right now. The lack of fully complete two-minute songs is a sin in this day and.

81. Ghostface — Nutmeg
The last time i wrote about this song i just copy and pasted the first verse. This time: Holy fuck! Ghostface raps the way i wish i could right. Is this shit scampi? It's not scampi! Imagine if it was scampi! Universal death threats. I don't even need a lot. i just want to write one thing that gets me one Universal Death Threat. it that so much to ask? Bleedin in the cell.

80. The Decemberist — The Infanta
I had some The Decemberists playiong. i must've gotten it from kenny. it was playing that way stuff plays and you couldn't tell anyone about it while it was even happening and then this kicks in and my ears perk up and then there's something about Collin Quin on your back and those drums are just on a mission and i couln't get to the computer but is it possible that he's saying that "We'll all cum crazy in Fanta?" Remember that commercial with the girl who looked like a less busty versian of Sofia Vergara. Mmmmm... Sofia Vergara.

Now I wanta fanta.

Whiskey Sour Number 5 instead.

79. Lindstrom — Grand Ideas
I haven't posted it hear yet, but on a message board I like i posted my responce to the 200 songs on Pitchfork's Top 500 Songs of the Decade. It's where i first listened to any Lindstrom and then Chris Breach tried to convince me to listen to more in his Australian accent and i gave in. I'll post that whole busineess soon, but for now. So I listened to more and I thought one song was another and I put in in the list and I was listening and i like it great but I was thinking no that's not the song I wanted in here. i hav e a very specific Lindstrom song in mind and had better be real and not just a song i imagainde, so i just went back and listened to my lindtrom and I was getting pissed because this is the last song of the post i should be doing the pull out but intead I'm staying in. Then i found it and it was an imagined amalgamation of songs at all it was one real song all by itself. it's a techno bit of that robot motorcycle theme song that tangarine Dream did for that show and but it's got these epic sweeps that take your helmet off and you can feel the wind and there's a girl singing and you know you're gonna crash into the rocks unless there's a ramp or a fjord but there's always a fjord and the crooks can't get way.

I think i'll just keep typing instead of breaking off into bitier sized bits. We'll stop when it's time.

78. RJD2 — The Horror
Supposedly kompact is starting a samples-based horror sub-label in 2010. It sounds awesome and exactly like the sort of thing that will suck in a month. Good on them. I love horror not like one of thaose guys that will buy any movie with blood on it, but I like horroe the way I like anything with stuff in it. I love it when it's good. This song is the horror of time. Time just keeps getting more and more fucked up who did this to time? Was it the guy in Metropolis? There's a breakdown and you think maybe i can hide from time under this back deck while the cops trawl through town looking for the two guys dressed like ninjas that were settting fire to the roofs of cars, but then time kicks back in and you realize that timetimetimetimeTIMEtime is man's horror. i thought it was the cops, but it was time all along!

77. AR Rahman & M.I.A. — O... Saya
When this movie came out, i knew exactly when this song played. I'm still pretty sure it was in the awesome half when they were all kids and not the less-awesome part when they were adults and one of the hottest women in the world was one of them but suddenly this wasn't a horror movie about being a minority in india, it was some kinda heist movie. Whatever. M.I.A. shines like Ludacris here droppin a verse you wish shoe'd put on more songs and those drums are all toms or maybe down-tuned snares or something and then it does that thing where what you were listening to stops and and then it comes back in. That seems like a low criteria, but when it happens here, it happens.

76. Bloc Party — Flux
I got into this song and a friend of mine told me she hated Bloc Party with the heat of a thousand. I didn't want to tell her that a video for a dance song with kaiju fighting made me love not-Blur. I love them more than Blur. there! Iasid it. I'm typing while blinking really fact just to fget the right affest that you shoulf get whil e listening to this song.

75. Victoire — A Door Into the Dark
So one thing that happened when I was doing this list once i knocked it down from 578 songs to 100 was that when I was ordering things i wasn't sure if i was ordering them out of actual love or out of a notion that they might play really well together in a mix if I organized them in theis order. I'm still not sure who made this list: daddy who likes one better than the other or mommy who just wants us to stand in a nice compostion for the Christmas picture. i mean, do i really like this violin piece better than Flux? But I think also i thought, if i was in a bar, i would be happy to hear this song, but i'd go nuts if they played this song instead abut maybe that's because no bar is going to play some violin music i ganked from the web one night... i don't even know where from except that it was promotional maybe rcrdlbl.com If i ever go into a bar and someone plays this i will go bugnuts though and i'll probably like it even more because i'll finally hear it in a place I'd never expect to hear it and maybe I'm having a great night to and that will certainly add to it, I'm sure.

74. Nosaj Thing — Fog
Now this, this I might hear in a bar one night. I might because I heard something else in a bar once and I couldn't believe it but I will get to that later because that song is in this very list. Possibly in the ceiling! There's actually a bit of horror in this too. It's supposed to be LA dubstep, but I don't think anyone knows what that means. I like Nosaj Thing a lot, and he's very consisten on one level but when this kicks in and it kicks in on my 2009 part 4 playlist a lot but when this kicks in I want to do something nasty bbut then i realize no one else can hear the song and they won't appreciate it.

73. Yeah Yeah Yeahs — Maps
When Andy first announced this challenge i think kim jumped in and threatened to kill anyone who didn't have a song on their list and i didn't even know what the hell that song was so i looked for it so Kim wouldn't kill me because I don't want him to kill me and screw something up and then get caught and have to go to prison and then Tasha will have to raise the baby by herself but then i found the song and realized it ws a song from this album and i don't love that song nearly as much as I like this song which is exactly how the Pretenders would sound if they came back and surprised everyone with awesomeness. Brink it on, Kim!

72. Tool — The Grudge
Unable to control stop lud whena whin. We went to see The National this year and because of the weather we got free tickets to go see the next night's show which was going to be headlined by Tool and My Bloody Valentine and i almost didn't go down the shore the next day because Oh My God I've always always wanted to see Tool and My Bloody Valentine and someone was trelling me I could see them and I scould see them by walking over to the concert from my apartment and it would be a beautiful night. But i went down the shore for love, and then i had a really great time with everybody and some of it was pretty damn transcendent in the ocean just past the breakers on a weekend when the waves and the... Undertow was strong as hell. Anyway, when you're out in the ocean and everything is right with the world and you look like a fucking adonis in one picture welll you think a bit about Tool. Their best songs weren't from this decade, but the best song of the decade that they wrote has waters crushing you into gold. I didn't get to see them live, but those fucking waters crushed me into gold and i've been fucknig gold ever since.

What the hell is next I don't remember!

THIS IS WHAT THE LAST POST WAS SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE

2009-12-08T20:28:00.002-05:00

This is what the last post was supposed to look like.

GIALLO — PAGES FROM THE YELLOW NOTEBOOK... OF MURDER!

2009-12-06T16:38:00.003-05:00

I've recently been revisiting some of the work I've done over the past year on a project tentatively titled Giallo.

In the past week, I've completed a full outline and have gone back to the more fleshed out beginning and began tweaking it a bit more. Below is a sort of composite of some of the sketchbook material I've compiled so far.

MY LIMBO SHIFTING POWERS — THEY DON'T WORK — !

2009-12-04T20:42:00.004-05:00

Like Batman, Kurt Busiek always wins.

Apropos of nothing again? This was going to be something. And then it wasn't going to be anything. Then I thought maybe it would be something. Then I thought it should sit for a while. Now I think it should sit for a while but maybe it will be something someday.

But for now, Suga Mama:

There's some stuff to come, lots has been worked on. Remember that guy? Franz Lotsasbin? Worked on, I can assure you. And you know what they say about assurances; they make an ass out of you and rances.

SUDDEN BUSTY KARAOKE COME ON!

2009-11-13T00:01:00.004-05:00

This has less to do with anything than it might seem, but I haven't posted in a month and I have neglected email and hoo mons and other things for too long, so here is something apropos of nothing.

Ici Même

2009-10-14T10:03:00.002-04:00

Today is the day!

After ten years and a dozen or so re-readings of my Dutch-vacation-acquired French edition, I will finally read Kim Thompson's English translation of Barbarella's Jean-Claude Forest's French words in one of my favorite of Jacques Tardi's comics.

I love this book so much, and now I'll know what the hell the characters have been saying this whole time! Surely, my love will be doubled. Or it will be drawn and quartered* and you will find me drowning in a puddle of my own tears and vomit.

*Or whatever the Fantagraphics equivalent of that is.

TOP 10 ALBUMS FOR THE OHS!

2009-10-06T20:15:00.003-04:00

In response to Pitchfork and other venues beginning to post their Best of the Decade lists, some friends and I got on about ours. With all the confidence that comes with 5% of the decade remaining, here is mine:

10. Mastodon — Crack the Skye

When I first heard that Mastodon, the band that did Leviathan and Blood Mountain and Call of the Mastodon and some of the heaviest, craziest, difficult metal ever was going to court the mainstream with a keyboard-focussed album about traveling back in time through a cosmic rift in the ghost of Rasputin to lead the drummer's sister into heaven (or something), I thought they'd finally lost it. But, once I heard it, I couldn't unhear it. Even now, the jackhammer plow riffs on Ghost of Karelia won't let go. It only came out this year, but I've had most of the year to listen to THE pop-prog-metal album of the decade. And I think Scott Kelly of Neurosis plays Rasputin. Let this album explain metal to you.

9. Fucked Up — The Chemistry of Common Life

Fucked Up are undoubtedly a hardcore band. Post punk. You could draw a straight line through Husker Du to these guys, but it's also one of the heaviest albums of the decade and full of multimultimultimutitracked guitars. I heard tell that some songs have over 100 guitar tracks for the wall of sound. It's also fantastic. I put this album on and i want to be absorbed in that thickness. It's shoegaze gone rough like an antidote to the pretty and the droney and the DOOOOOOOM. It is fast and screaming and kicking shit over like the Who in fast forward.

8. Antlers — Hospice

Another concept album of questionable conceit. Two people are in love and one of them is dying of cancer. The point of view switches back and forth between the two, and their emotions run a full gamut of regret, anger, disappointment, empty hope, futility, memory, nostalgia, beauty. Another 2009 album, but one I can not stop listening to. I heard the first single Two back in the early spring and ended each listen liking it more than the previous. The song itself improves from start to finish. I was looking forward to the album, but wondered if they'd shot their load in one. They didn't. It's great, varied in indy-rock sound from lilting melodies to bursts of guitars. it's the album you want to hand all of your friends, but you're afraid to because it's a concept album about dying from cancer.

7. Burial — Untrue

I didn't even know dubstep was a thing until i heard this. I've heard lots since, but nothing matches this, album-wise. Actually, I'm not sure anything matches this in any way. Every song seems to be caught in the interdimensional membrane between two worlds on different nights. Barry Allen's not sure when he is, Parriah looks around and can't tell if this is Earth-Q4◊ or Earth->pß32, one is dissolving into the next. Kamandi is editing a rough draft of Dracula, underwater, a little too stoned, a little too drunk, he's swimming, the street lights are reflecting off the puddles on the sidewalk, he's wearing pants for some reason and they seem as practical as they do absurd. William Gull has eviscerated his last victim and was whisked away to the hallway of a club playing Tricky in the room on one end and The Orb in the other.

6. Daft Punk — Alive 2007

Home Work and Discovery are both good (although I rate Home Work higher), and i had seen Daft Punk live back in 1997 (it was one of my favorite concerts: Aphex Twin, Crystal Method, Daft Punk, Sneaker Pimps... and the internet tells me Fluke and Death in Vegas), but they were not the highlight of the show, just a group i was happy to see. I really didn't understand it when people said Alive 2007 was awesome (they said the dvd was better, but the album was great). it's prpbably because it's the best thing they've ever done. All the music is recontextualized into something new, transforming the studio albums into raw material for something better. Songs blend together, warp and diffuse. The sound is warmer, thicker, fuller. The crowd is another texture and not just a tag at the end of the track. None of the terrible live album traits are present. They never talk to the audience. Never ask them how they're doing. Never ask them to say it louder. They just want you to dance and discover new combinations with them.

5. Jay-Z — Unplugged

I'm sure it's my own lack of imagination that put these two live albums together. jigga does indulge in all of the worst traits you find on a live album: small-talking to the audience, telling them to get more pumped up, going off on weird, rambling tangents. BUT this was also a complete revision of most of his best songs. And these were songs. Hits for a reason. And a lot of them. The Roots turn out to be the best backing band ever and turn even the lamest original productions into weird, funky, playful numbers. Jay-Z sounds like he's been playing with them for years and never sounds even remotely surprised at how well it all came together. I consider about half of these to be the definitive versions of the songs, like the Blueprint was just that.

4. Ghostface Killah — Supreme Clientele

I like Iron Man and I love Cuban Linx, but I still can't believe how much of a revelation Supreme Clientele was. I had finally come to grips with the fact that I liked rap, and had resisted too much greatness for too long and then all of a sudden one of the greatest rap albums ever came out. Everything was weird, dozens of stories seemed to be interwoven in each song. I'm having a day when this is the best Wu album ever. but every day it is the last truly great Wu album. There have been really good ones since (a couple from Ghost), but none this good. It's the old RZA sound, but cleaned up. More soul, less grime. More blaxploitation, less kung fu. Lyrically? East coast rappers used to judge each other on lyracism alone: clever word play, neologisms, metaphor, complex rhyme patterns. I don't know if there's a rapper alive that can match Ghost. There may not be a rapper dead that could either. This rappin's like ziti.

3. Modest Mouse — The Moon and Antarctica

I frequently pick MM as my favorite band. This album gets all messed up in my head sometimes because I discovered the band in 2000. In between the release of Building Something Out of Nothing in the spring and this album in the fall, I was also devouring the entire rest of their catalog. it was a lot of Modest Mouse at once. So much that I would remember songs i loved and insist they were on different albums. I couldn't keep them straight. Since then, I've had more time between albums, time to go back and listen to each one as its own entity. To me, this is the most Modest Mousey album. The mid point from being a band that could fit somewhere on a bill with Built to Spill and the Pixies and about to turn into a band that could co-headline with the Cure. And it's got everything: loud, noisy guitars, soft, dark introspection, travel that goes nowhere, our place in the universe, and a lot of stopping right in the middle of life to reflect.

2. Kanye West — The College Dropout

This album is important. It's important to me and it was one of the defining albums of the decade. The meme for about a year now has been that kanye is a jerk, a twit, and egomanic, a whatever. To that, I say, put down the US magazine! Why would you rather read Perez Hilton than listen to great music? Where are your priorities? I can't think of too many albums that tackled the strange world of the 21st century quite like this. It's over-sexed, over-spiritual, over-materialistic, over-conscious. It wants to be better, it will work hard but hates work, it wants to be dirty but it worries about having bad thoughts, it mines the past in a way that triggered the future. it is fun, it is sweet, it is hurt, it is unsure with confidence and it is an album full of singles.

1. Radiohead — Kid A

I think, with all the years and increasingly lesser albums and bad impostors, the shock of this album has worn down to nothing. In a way, i think that's in it's favor: for some people, this album was the final alienation from a band they thought they loved; now it just seems like an album like any other. But this shit was nuts. Even if you could pick out all that influences, you hadn't heard them together like this. This album could be pretty and heavy and go from screeching free-jazz horns to programmed IDM. It is also spooky. And haunting. And manic-depressive. And it's a fucking rock album. From start to finish, it is a rock album in the tradition of Abbey Road, Scary Monsters, 10... it is big and introspective, dancable basslines over ambient textures. A stadium-size sound that tries to reject the things that worked as hits before. Everyone said this was music that couldn't be played live, and then i saw them play it live. People call them whiney, but I hear paranoia. It's a sci-fi album, not a slacker album, Blade Runner.

Most-honourable mentions! The rest of the short list:

T.I. — King
Apparat and Ellen Allien — Orchestra of Bubbles
Aesop Rock — None Shall Pass
Isis — Oceanic
M.I.A. — Kala
Xiu Xiu — Knife Play
Beach House — Devotion
Radiohead — Amnesiac
Sian Alice Group — 59.59
Neurosis — Given to the Rising

There was also a less-than short list that had 55 strong contenders on it. And an even less short list that had about 80.

SPX 2009

2009-09-25T00:18:00.001-04:00

Hope to see you at SPX!

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 3 COVER

2009-09-20T15:55:00.001-04:00

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 3 PAGE 30

2009-09-18T22:24:00.002-04:00

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 3 PAGE 29

2009-09-11T18:24:00.002-04:00

It's the next-to-last page of Mr. Eybyaninch Book 3. I was hoping to have the whole book ready for this Sunday, but it looks like it won't be. What's this Sunday?

Marcos and I will be attending the inaugural Philadelphia Alternative Comic Con
! It's 12-6PM at the 941 Theater on North Front Street in the city of brotherly lovers. Both Marcos and I are brotherly, and we'd be happy to love you.

I should have books ready after that, in time to get books into a store or two and then debut them live at SPX, September 26 and 27.

Then there's a good chance I'll move directly into Mr. Eybyaninch Book 4 (of FIVE, I now declare), since this is the chapter that triggered the damn project in the beginning.

I will also be getting back into all the other projects brewing, simmering, steaming, and boiling.

Plans are a foot!

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 3 PAGE 28

2009-09-09T22:47:00.002-04:00

Abre los ojos.

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 3 PAGE 27

2009-09-05T21:34:00.002-04:00

I feel like the floodgates have reopened. DROWN THE VILLAGE!

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 3 PAGE 26

2009-09-01T21:13:00.001-04:00

Drinking to forget, posting to rmember.

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 3 PAGE 25

2009-08-30T22:22:00.002-04:00

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to violence. The word and the act."

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 3 PAGE 24

2009-08-30T22:13:00.002-04:00

Spent a lot of this weekend wondering what the fuck I'd done. And getting far too absorbed in Annihilation: Conquest. I think I'm going to post another page tonight and then watch Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! It's a story about violence.

MR. EYBYANINCH BOOK 3 PAGE 23

2009-08-20T22:47:00.003-04:00

Itttttts backkkkkkk:

Fuck that was a long writers block. I know where it's going, but i got stuck so hard on how to transition. it came to me when my body was overheating and my brain was overtired. Truly, it is the Eybyaninch formula.

MORE ASTRONAUTS, DUCK, BOYS?

2009-08-14T19:28:00.002-04:00

Gutters without borders!

So I remember in the future: selective color, black 100%, adjust contrast a little bit up.

DUCK DUCK VAMPIRE

2009-08-06T21:45:00.001-04:00

I'm thinking about doing away with panel borders for these. I know, it's an idea so revolutionary, you can barely hear yourself think over the bombs bursting in air (hey, waitaminute...).

TIRED DUCKS VAMPIRE ASTRONAUTS

2009-07-30T22:30:00.004-04:00

Coming off two 12+ hour days at the office, with two 10-hour bookends. This guy is beat. With thumbs.

This should've gone up last week.

DUCKS, MORE ASTRONAUTS. NO VAMPIRES YET.

2009-07-15T00:22:00.002-04:00

I did this one a little darker. Inks and adjustments.

VAMPIRE ASTRONAUTS STILL LIFE WITH DUCKS

2009-07-10T00:53:00.001-04:00

Next bit in progress as I get a handle on it:

DUCKS (VAMPIRE ASTRONAUTS)

2009-07-08T21:05:00.002-04:00

To follow the entire web-published progression of the new first Vampire Astronauts panel, you can hit this link with your best shot: ducks. Fire away.

1002 ASTRONAUTS AND VAMPIRES AND DUCKS

2009-07-08T20:53:00.002-04:00

Okay. Time to see what the piece looks like scanned in with a little brightness/contrast adjustment:

VAMPIRE ASTRONAUTS YOU CAN'T SCAN MUST BE PHOTOGRAPHED

2009-07-07T23:42:00.004-04:00

Jeff Smith's All-In-One Bone goes into its 13th printing tomorrow. Gotta get to work!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!

2009-07-02T00:20:00.004-04:00

Have a repost from last year! Hey, I never promised you a rose garden.

Here's a candle for each of your 50 states. Districts, Protectorates, Embassadorial Properties, Military Bases, Prisons, Territories and Occupied Lands do not count. The songs are listed in their state's order of entry into the union.

1. DELAWARE — PERRY CUOMO
What did Delaware? She wore a brand New Jersey. Why did California? She called to say Hawaii. This song is like a mission statement. Thanks, Delaware, for having no other distinguishing features worth singing about!

2. PENNSYLVANIA 6-5000 — THE ANDREWS SISTERS
The album art you get on itunes for The Andrews Sisters' Greatest Hits of the 20th Century album is three flames in the shape of women dancing. They also have the sexiest harmonies ever put to record. Pennsylvania, you don't deserve so good. But I can't quit you.

3. I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU — BON JOVI
As Sean Connery said, "They named the album New Jersey."

4. GEORGIA ON MY MIND — RAY CHARLES
No one can deny this choice, even those who say it's too obvious.

5. TIME TO PRETEND — MGMT
Well, they're from Connecticut. Also, this song is all about how these guys know they're cunts from Connecticut. Also, it's quite enjoyable. And, hey, Georgia on Mind! Right?

6. MORE THAN A FEELING — BOSTON
Do the classic rock stations still do "Top 500 Songs to Keep Your Dad Happy" marathons? Are there still classic rock stations?

7. HOLD ME! SQUEEZE ME! — THE ORIOLES
They invented Doo Wop, apparently. They are named after Maryland's state bird. This song is fun.

8. LIVING IN AMERICA — JAMES BROWN
I almost made Virgina's entry "James Brown is Dead." But this song is awesome, is a 4th of July staple, and it's the theme song to Rocky IV. This song will break you.

9. NEW HAMPSHIRE — SONIC YOUTH
I wish Sonic Nurse wasn't SY's 800-millionth album, because I bet I would listen to it more. Um... they made a song called New Hampshire. You're welcome.

10. VIRGINIA PLAIN — ROXY MUSIC
You can't not like this song. I love this song.

11. FAIRYTALE OF NEW YORK — THE POGUES
Disclaimer: I heard this song was banned by the BBC because it contains one of the most offensive words ever — faggart. Also, this is really a Christmas song, I guess. I don't care about either issue.

12. JESSE DON'T LIKE IT — LOUDON WAINWRIGHT III
I decided against SY's Chapel Hill to avoid to much repetition. I thought I had a song called "Piss Christ," but I guess I don't. This song is about North Carolina's favorite son. And the 80s just took another step toward death.

13. 13 MONSTERS — LIGHTNING BOLT
How fucking appropriate is that. Brian Chippendale's band from RID's FORT THUNDER.

14. MOONLIGHT ON VERMONT — CAPTAIN BEEFHEART
Uh... it has Vermont in the title! I don't know. I don't even like Captain Beefheart that much. But it's Vermont. What're you gonna do?

15. KENTUCKY COCKTAIL — PAVEMENT
I own three songs with Kentucky in the title. This one is by Pavement. It wins.

16. RING OF FIRE — JOHNNY CASH
I had to pick a Cash song for Tennessee. I picked this one.

17. HERE TO GO — DEVO
I thought about giving this slot to Modest Mouse's Ohio. I really did. But DEVO! I also considered using Freedom of Choice for the obviousness of it, but Here to Go is my favorite Devo song. And they're all about America.

18. WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN — LOUIS ARMSTRONG
Yup.

19. DON'T STOP TILL YOU GET ENOUGH — MICHAEL JACKSON
Did you know Michael Jackson was from Gary, Indiana? Man, that doesn't even sound close to correct.

20. MISSISSIPPI QUEEN — MOUNTAIN
Duh-nuh-nuh-NUH! Duh-nuh-nuh-NUH!

21. WE DON'T CARE — KANYE WEST
You know, this is still my favorite Kanye song. So there.

22. SWEET HOME ALABAMA — LYNARD SKYNARD
I debated using Neil Young's far superior Alabama that sparked this song. But then I said, "FUCK CANADA!" And then the dogs downstairs started barking. They must be Canadian dogs. Do they make dogs in Canada? Stupid terrorists.

23. SWEET AUGUSTA DARLIN' — VINCE GILL
I really hope Gill is singing about a girl from Augusta, 'cause this one's for Maine!

24. ST. LOUIS BLUES — EARTHA KITT
I own three versions of this song I probably couldn't identify in a Special Olympics round of Wheel of Fortune. I picked the one sang by Catwoman. THE Catwoman.

25. MARY QUEEN OF ARKANSAS — BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
New Jersey, New York, Nebraska, Arkansas — he's like a one-man Texarkana...esee.

26. SIR DUKE — STEVIE WONDER
Motherfinger, I love this song. Michigan!

27. SWEET DREAMS — MARILYN MANSON
When I started making this list, Modest Mouse's Florida occupied the Florida spot. Then I remembered that Marilyn Manson is from Florida. I love this cover and I don't care what you think, pops!

28. LUCKENBACH, TEXAS (BACK TO THE BASICS OF LOVE) — WAYLON JENNINGS & WILLIE NELSON
I had a rule that I wouldn't repeat any musicians on this list. Then Willie Nelson broke that rule. Twice. But this is really a Waylon Jennings song, right?

29. (515) — SLIPKNOT
I have a bunch of Slipknot albums back from when I was feeling old and trying to get into what the kids were all into. This is the shortest song on an album called Iowa. There really weren't a lot of choices outside of this album. Iowa, wow.

30. ADD-IT-UP — VIOLENT FEMMES
Hey, Iowa! Wisconsin made you look bad 24 years ago! Come on! Make some sweet corn-husk music or something!

31. CALIFORNIA LOVE — DR. DRE & 2PAC
You know, sometimes I forget Dr. Dre is a fuckin' California state treasure. He calls his state untouchable like Elliot Ness. Then he makes rhymes about Liberace AND Sassoon jeans. This is all while outshining one of the greatest MCs ever. They should build a gold statue of Dre holding a key to California in the City of Compton.

32. SEXY M.F. — PRINCE
This wasn't my favorite Prince song until it provided the soundtrack for a stay in Florida. Now it will represent Minnesota.

33. LITTLE BABIES — SLEATER-KINNEY
I always forget the title of this song, but I love it. Oregon!

34. CARRY ON WAYWARD SON — KANSAS
The song that got me thinking I could make a list with one song representing each state. I was stretching the idea even before i had it!

35. THIRTY FIVE — KARMA TO BURN
This is a post-metal band from West Virginia. I never heard of them before tonight. They're interesting. It actually sounds exactly like what Appalachian Post Metal would sound like. Hillbilly Instrumental Metal. I chose this song entirely because it was titled Thirty Five.

36. PRETTY VEGAS — INXS
I voted for this guy online after hearing this song. I never thought I would vote online for a replacement for Michael Hutchence cast from a reality tv show. There are so many things wrong with that statement, I don't even know where to begin.

37. FLAMES OVER NEBRASKA — PERE UBU
I was trying really hard not to use the same musicians twice. Really hard. Still, this is a pretty good Pere Ubu song.

38. DENVER — WILLIE NELSON
And then I threw the baby out to get at that good bathwater. This song is 53 seconds long. Willie Nelson was like the Napalm Death of Outlaw Country.

39. NORTH DAKOTA — LYLE LOVETT
I actually think of Lyle Lovett first as an bit actor, then as Cindy Crawford's husband and THEN as a singer. This is the first of his songs I've ever owned.

40. RAPID CITY, SOUTH DAKOTA — KINKY FRIEDMAN
This is from a recorded live set that was banned from tv in the seventies. I guess i need to learn more about Kinky Friedman.

41. MEDLEY: BLUE ROCK MONTANA/RED-HEADED STRANGER — WILLIE NELSON
I like Willie a lot, but I wouldn't have broken the rules if Colorado and Montana could get some state music. Just make a song about mountains and call it Denver Tits or write an ode to ranching and call it Capital of Montana. See? This is easy.

42. ABOUT A GIRL — NIRVANA
Or, you ncould make music and just BE from the damn state.

43. PRIVATE IDAHO — B-52s
OH! Or you could get the B-52s to make a song about your state. I'm sure they like money. I could've used Built to Spill here as well.

44. SONG OF WYOMING — JOHN DENVER
I wanted to use Denver for New Mexico (he was born IN ROSWELL!!!!), but Wyoming needed him more.

45. SALT LAKE CITY — THE BEACH BOYS
The Beach Boys were responsible for some of the best songs ever. They also wrote a song about Disneyland. And a song about Salt Lake City, Utah.

46. PSYCHIATRIC EXPLORATIONS OF THE FETUS WITH NEEDLES — FLAMING LIPS
Oklahoma! Sooners! Okies! If there's an awesome hell down below, at least three of you are all gonna go!

47. SANTA FE — LIGHTNIN' HOPKINS
No one has loved New Mexico since Lighnin' Hopkins. NO ONE.

48. BY THE TIME I GET TO ARIZONA — PUBLIC ENEMY
Maybe next year I'll be nice, Arizona. Although, you gotta admit, it's a great song.

49. ANCHORAGE — MICHELLE SHOCKED
In this drunken state (appropriately, I come to Alaska), I feel like the only person amongst my circle of friends that didn't have a Michelle Shocked album. I don't know if that's even remotely true, but it feels true. Now I have one song.

50. THEME FROM HAWAII FIVE-O — MORTON STEVENS
A reliable source tells me this is the state song of Hawaii. Morton Stevens is from Newark, New Jersey. Look how small the world is all of a sudden!

THAT'S IT, AMERICA! YOU GOT ME DRUNK AND TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME AND I WENT DOWN ON ALL YOUR FIFTY STATES! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAVE A PINCH TO GROW AN INCH!

VAMPIRE ASTRONAUTS AWAIT DUCKS STILL: POST 999

2009-07-01T00:01:00.003-04:00

For this round, I'm doing the black ink and the color inks simultaneously on the light table. One of the things I wanted to do this time was draw some of the line art in color (the holograms).

This is what it looks like while I'm drawing it and the light table is on:

I have to admit, that's pretty freaking cool when photographed.

Here it is with the light table off:

While I'm working, I switch between the two so I can see what I'm doing. I've drawn this image so many times, that it is actually starting to get easier, and I'm actually happiest with this look most of all so far.

VAMPIRE ASTRONAUTS REALIZE WE'RE ANOTHER ROUND AWAY

2009-06-30T20:00:00.003-04:00

I got about halfway through the color last night and I think I'm going to start over. It's not what I want.

As it stands:

VAMPIRE ASTRONAUTS IN WAITING

2009-06-29T20:39:00.003-04:00

AND MORE VAMPIRES AND ASTRONAUTS

2009-06-24T22:46:00.003-04:00

I meant to scan this before I started inking. Then I started inking. Then I scanned it. Now I'll go back to inking.

CLOSER TO VAMPIRE ASTRONAUTS

2009-06-24T18:35:00.004-04:00

I'm happier with this page than ever. Some stuff is still unrefined and there are things that will get clearer, but I'm pretty happy nonetheless.

MORE ASTRONAUTS, FEWER VAMPIRES, ALSO DUCKS

2009-06-19T18:01:00.004-04:00

New round! About halfway through the pencils, but I'm packing for a weekend away from the computer.

Yesterday's post with previous rounds of this drawing was here!
New Store updates are here!
Scorpions are there!
How comics are advertised in France!

ASTRONAUTS NO VAMPIRES

2009-06-17T23:31:00.004-04:00

I thought I'd take a few minutes to talk about what I'm doing, under the misapprehension that it is always useful to look at what I'm doing.

Yes, I see what I am talking about. Go back to Europe, college!

Ok. A long time ago, I came up with an idea for a comics story. A 'graphic novel'. A 'webcomic'. A 'mini'. Bla bla bla. I did a lot of work in a variety of sketchbooks and on scraps of paper and in my head ("What are you doing?" "Working" "You're just standing there." "I'm working very hard!").

Once I thought I had the major bits in place, I figured I was ready to begin this new comics adventure. And I did. But, after I started working on the color elements, and began the subsequent pages, I realized that I hadn't done nearly enough preliminary work. I was still working out the overall look of the work. I was still working out some of the logic. I was even applying logic to the clothing. Madness. Um, all here.

Anyway, amidst all of this work (most of which hasn't been scanned and posted), I also started working out some of the details of the story. I wanted to avoid the Kaiju Jugoruma trap that turns a single line of dialogue into a 40 pages of comics (I need to go back into that and build a little more structure in to next chapters).

One of the things that inspired a tighter vision of the plot was George Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire books that some friends talked me into trying. Say what you will about some of the prose, Martin has such a solid framework beneath this and some serious world-building chops that make the whole thing actually seem free-wheeling and actually opens up the chances to improvise.

Where was I? Have I done it again? I have?

I went to work actually writing this shit out. Full-size thumbs on the backs of drug regulatory manuscripts and outdated airline legal disclaimers. I wrote and I wrote. Pages and pages of comics.

Then I hit a Kaiju Jugoruma moment. A classic, actually. It was precisely the sort of thing that happened in both Earth Minds Are Weak #8 & 9. I let a few characters talk, and I let them get comfortable which each other, and they developed a bit of a banter, and then one character alluded to something, and another character explained a bit more.

And suddenly I had a line of dialogue about something that had happened a month ago (story time).

Motherfucker. You see, the line was a little bit necessary. Forget the developing characterisations. Ignore the art of naturalistic dialogue (why not? I do). There was a bit of of necessary exposition hiding in there (well, it wasn't hiding, per se). There had to be something that happened a month ago (well, I think it's going to be three months ago now — the damn thing takes place thousands of years in the future, I can take a couple months). It was the reason the character was there. Basically, I had to make a decision right there.

Whatever. I could get to that event eventually. More dialogue. A flashback. Something.

But this was a scene that was eating at me. I actually — no matter where in the narrative this scene took place — I needed to figure it out. I needed to know what happened.

I started to work on it. I didn't scan the original piece. I forgot there was a prior step until I went looking through my pages, trying to find this line of dialogue. But there was more. A lot more. That initial scene started in one place and ballooned in every direction. Another new starting place was found. An entire sequence was dropped.

Then the thing sat and gestated. I went to work on other elements. I worked on other projects. There was a wedding. There was some life too. And MoCCA.

When I returned to the comic, I had changed and solidified some ideas. I had thought about format and visual concepts. I thought about some of the things I could do with this scene. I figured out a way to use this scene as an opening chapter — a prologue — without diminishing in any way the big scene I had originally planned to start with. In fact, it could magnify that scene. Strengthen its impact (all of this assumes, of course, a competency of execution I'm not at all convinced I'll demonstrate).

And then I struck on something that made it all even better. Hans Christian Anderson. There was something missing from my first draft of this scene and it was a detail I wasn't all that concerned with. I trusted myself to come up with it later (where does this blind faith come from?). Essentially, I needed my characters to be doing something when the the big event happened. This is an element that I think most people under-appreciate and, under-think-and under-play: the what you are doing when life happens.

It's something that David Lynch excels at. Has someone done a montage of David Lynch characters eating while stuff is happening? I love those eating scenes in Twin Peaks. Think of Ben Horne eating with his brother in the Great Northern.

But I had nothing. I had a location: a grade-school field trip. I knew my protagonist. I knew my antagonists: her classmates and teacher. I knew who my protagonist was with at every point in this story. I knew how it ended.

But I didn't know what the field trip was. I didn't know what they were learning. And then I thought about animals and zoos and museums and animals in a zoo for kids and ducks and Motherfucking Hans Christian Anderson. I could finally kill that guy in his sleep. Oh, and I thought about Boudica as well. Boudica vs Hans Christian Anderson: your daughters' futures are the stakes.

Then it was time to start writing again. This is how I write:
Sometimes I wonder why I don't do my finished comics in ballpoint.

I took that drawing and pencilled it on Bristol board. Then I attacked the board with crow quill pens and brushes. I didn't gank the threshold or bitmap this, so you can see the brushmarks and un-erased pencils (I normally erase)

I kinda love that panel. I got the girls just right, I thought. Composition is legible and gives you something to do with your eyes. But I wanted a bit more. This is the first panel, the first page, the very first thing in this comic. My main character has no feet in the above panel. And her name sucks a little. Normally, I'd leave it as is. Uncentered lettering and all. BUt I wanted to see if I could do a little more. Maybe even push the background a bit more (at all).

I let it sit for a couple weeks.

I pencilled this last night and thought it was ready to ink. Then I inked that hand and decided it was beyond crap. And it was in the wrong position. So I decided to do something else. I taped a piece of clear vellum to the top and started working the image over. What you see above is actually the original pencils with pencil alterations I made while working on the vellum over it.

The vellum:

I pushed teach off to the left about as far as I could, while keeping her gesture and authority and age recognizable. I added more kids and another duck. I pushed the protagonist off further to the right.I added more background characters (guards, walkety people) and more rows of pillars.

At first, I was trying to draw this vellum piece as close to a finished piece as possible, even though I planned to light table it onto bristol anyway. But then I started making post-ink changes: that one heavy-lined girl and the guards and pillars, actually). I decided to go loose. It's a mix.

Tomorrow, I hope to get the thing light-tabled and ready for color. The next terrifying step.

SKETCHES OF ASTRONAUT VAMPIRES IN COLOR

2009-06-16T19:10:00.002-04:00

So, I have these inks, see? These colored inks, ya hear? I've been wanting to play with them for a while, you follow?

Anyway, had a stab at last night's quick sketch:

VAMPIRE ASTRONAUTS POST MOCCA

2009-06-16T01:02:00.003-04:00

HOW HOT WAS MoCCA?

2009-06-12T00:31:00.002-04:00

HAHAHAHA. I actually wasn't going to say say MoCCA was nearly as hot as people have been making it out to have been (I mean, we were in the ultra-smelly, air-conditionless room in 2005 and last year's 100 degree day wasn't mitigated by air conditioning), but then I saw the picture Shawn Hoke posted of Marcos and I from Saturday's show. HAHAHAHA

He also has a photo of John Mejias' new Paping. This is the first time since... SPX 2005(?) That I haven't bought something(s) awesome from one of the Paping/Partyka tables (I didn't realize Shawn Cheng had a new book). That new Paping book, by the way, is absolutely beautiful. Any other year, I would have bought it already and tore through it. Any other year. But at $100... not this year. John took me on a tour of it though. I think it's safe to say that they've surpassed Paping 14 (my #2 book of 2006).

Jog had some nice words to say about Mr. Eybyaninch #2 and a look at some cool books. Pushwagners Soft City is the one I'm beating myself over not getting. All is not a loss, though. I actually DID get a Romanian comics anthology, so who is jealous now?

It's been a while since I've promised a thorough look at the books of a past show, and even longer since I fulfilled such a promise. I make no promises now, but I really do hope I find the time and energy to put one together.

MOCCA B TIRED

2009-06-08T20:39:00.002-04:00

Exhausted from MoCCA. Wish I got around more. It was great to see as many of you for the few minutes we saw each other. Wish we had spent more time together, wish I saw those I missed.

Unpacking soon. I think this was the first time in years i was overwhelmed by the quality and quantity of comics.

TRULY The Only Map You Will Need Of The MoCCA Fest 2009 Floor.

2009-06-03T23:25:00.003-04:00

Well, it took some doing, but I think we've finally arrived. First, I noticed that some people were getting their table assignments much earlier than we were.

This sparked a flame war that rocked the blogosphere:

Then, four days before the show, Marcos noticed that he wasn't listed amongst the exhibitors and wanted to make sure there would be a badge available for him.

Then we found out that I was listed as an exhibitor by mistake... because we had no table! Some snafu happened somewhere at some point in the past year and no money transacted. We came thisclose to arriving on the stony steps of the armory, loaded down with comics, to a greeting of confused looks, slacken jaws and cruel laughter before being turned away to find some bitter solace at Roomali.

But now they won't turn us away. Roomali will have to wait. Until our lunch breaks.

Here it is, babes, brutes and brooders: TRULY The Only Map You Will Need Of The MoCCA Fest 2009 Floor.

MUSIC ASSEMBLE!

2009-06-01T22:55:00.002-04:00

Some old-school blog typing while I try to rebuild the texture on my fingertips. Damn you, hole punch!

Albums listened to while assembling books for MOCCA:

1. Underworld — Dubnobasswithmyheadman
2. 808 State — Ninety
3. The Orb — The Orb's Adventures Beyond the Ultraworld
4. Orbital — Orbital
5. Meat Beat Manifesto — Actual Sounds + Voices
6. Meat Beat Manifesto — Satyricon
7. Meat Beat Manifesto — At the Center
8. Cybotron — Clear
9. The Future Sound of London — Dead Cities
10. Aphex Twin — Selected Ambient Works Vol. 2
11. The Future Sound of London — Lifeforms

MOCCA 2009 DAY BEWS

2009-06-01T19:18:00.001-04:00

BOOKS THAT WILL BE AT THE MOCCA EXPO FOR THE FIRST TIME, BUT DEBUTED AT SPX IN 2007 AND HAVE BEEN AVAILABLE AT A NUMBER OF STORES FOR SOME MONTHS NOW:

MOCCA 09: THE ARMORY SHOW: RIOT OVER ART: THE PRIORMATH

2009-05-31T19:59:00.002-04:00

Unlike some people getting their a table for the first time at MoCCA, the five-year veterans at Cliff Face Comics still have not received their table assignment. Tsk tsk.

But you should find us at table number something near someone. Probably. Show is at the Armory this year (June 6th & 7th at the 69th Regiment Armory at Lexington Avenue and 25th Street in New York City). Greatly looking forward to it. I think this might be the first comic convention ever held in a recognizable part of civilization.

If you come to the table, I'd advise doing so before lunch. After lunch, I will stink of curry.

I don't think Marcos or I will have anything new at the show... He might. I won't. Unless I haven't seen you since last MoCCA. Then we will have many new things.

New-new books will not be around until July, probably. Why? Because we're terrible people. I was hoping I'd get some arts up here on the blog before the show. We'll see. Still printing and collating and cutting and stapling and adhering and sewing and folding.

SCRATCH THAT

2009-05-28T19:03:00.001-04:00

No offense to anyone else in the picture, but someone needs to make this movie today.

THE LAST WEDDING PHOTO I STEAL

2009-05-28T18:58:00.003-04:00

Seriously. Content. Real content to come.

WETTING!

2009-05-20T23:27:00.002-04:00

DJ Wetmouse, Bustin' Box, Jack Action!

Worst Picture Ever. Ginette and Justin. This is how we look when you are very drunk.

King Leisure and Jack Action.

The happy couple and lady butt.

Groomsmen Suave Prospects: King Leisure, C-Man, Jack Action, Bustin' Box, DJ Wetmouse.

POST ACKNOWLEDGING LACK OF POSTING

2009-05-19T19:30:00.001-04:00

I haven't in a while. Longer since I posted comics content. Longer still since I posted ACTUAL comics content.

I suck.

Hopefully there will be something soon.

BACHELORDS!!!!

2009-04-26T15:27:00.006-04:00

In one week we lose Marcos to woman. To send him off, we give you the briefest glimpse of THE BACHELORDS:

BACHELORD!

BACHELORD!

BACHELORDS ANTEING! BACHELORDS KENNY, JEFF, MARTY and married guy RAY.

BACHELORD HOST!

BACHELORD GUEST OF HONOR FLIPPIN SIGNS.

BACHELORD TENSIONS of BETTING!

MORE ANTEING LIKE BACHELORDS!

The beats were booming, the smoke was thick, the jokes were flying, and SpiDARE-Man was shittin on bananas. All was good, and then Bea Arthur died. But we soldiered on!

STEADILY WATCHING IT, HE WAITED FOR THE WORLD TO DISSOLVE AND SET HIM FREE

2009-04-20T23:50:00.003-04:00

Neil Gaiman has the best words on the subject I've found so far.

As should be expected, Ballardian has quite a bit up.

From there, the link to Moorcock's message board is more than worth going through.

MORE DITHERING ABOUT SPACE VAMPIRES

2009-04-07T21:55:00.004-04:00

I'll probably put some of this into practice soon, now that I'm working out some of the pressing logics.

I'd been thinking about spaceships and tried to figure out what kind of spaceship would be good for colonizing planets. What would land on some hospitable planet, stand asride it's fertile valley and say, "I'm here to fill you will tiny people!"

How about the USO Keefe!

(Probably won't be the real ship name.)

Continuing to think about necks and space fashion, I also started to think about gender on a colony ship. I'm starting to think there's going to be a lot less of one than there is of the other. But then: necks! This one is inspired by some other thoughts I'm having about space colonists, the traditionally antiseptic nature of sci-fi space and a Halloween costume my friend Katy once wore:

Here's a dash of color to help it make sense:

CLOTHES FOR SPACE

2009-04-06T21:50:00.003-04:00

In the last post, I mentioned trying to put more thought into the costuming for some of my characters. Here's an outfit I worked on over the weekend. Ballpoint pen in my sketchbook. I was working on necklines before realizing I'd need some below-the-waist action, that's why the girl looks like a stage magician's assistant.

STILL LOOKING FOR THE PERFECT PAGE

2009-04-01T20:36:00.002-04:00

How about that Crack the Skye? I've listened to it about a dozen times already. Sometimes i don't know if I'm listening to it because I love it, or because I'm trying to figure it out. And I'm not even talking about the supposed concept album story about traveling back in time to get possessed by Rasputin's spirit as he tries to escape assassination so you can better process the death of your sister. I mean, what was Blood Mountain about? There's a stag on the cover! No, the things I've been trying to understand is how this can sound so much like a Mastodon album without the death/thrash guitars and with the keyboards. Crazy.

I like that NIN:JA ep too. Well, the NIN and JA parts. The Rage Against the Coup part so much. Eh, I'm the olde.

I'm litening to someone called RH+ now, Curb is the song. I think if the indie disco thing sonded more like this initially, i would've been more down with it. Listening to a bunch of weird free shit actually. Polly Scattergood? When does the ropey goth disco revival start? Now. MODERAT? Let my love of techno never die.

Here's some pencils for the THIRD version of the page I posted two versions of yesterday. I should note that I'm not including thumbnails and separate layouts in this calculation. I feel like I'm working on a painting (well, I feel like someone ELSE working on a painting, I never did so many preliminaries).

I thought i pretty much had it, finally. Even if some of the body language was getting a bit...set-up-a-livejournal-feedy. But, I could live with that. At least it was going somewhere.

But then I started thinking about how dull and traditional those space uniforms looked. I mean, this was part of the original idea: I wanted them to look low-budget. Now I'm not so sure. I'm thinking about the concept, the vampire astronaut part. What kind of clothes would my space people wear?

This thinking took me to image searches of Sandra Backlund designs. I'm thinking about big, bulky necks. In space. I have a feeling some of the costume redesigns are going to take me to new layouts. I'm keeping the damn sandwich though.

TRYING TO FIND A PAGE

2009-03-31T22:15:00.003-04:00

One of the things that happened after my flurry of super activity a couple weeks ago was that i reviewed the work I did and realized I had finished a lot in part because a fair amount wasn't what i wanted it to be.

Here's the second attempt, looking for that page...

SOME TIPS AND TWEAKS

2009-03-20T19:16:00.003-04:00

Ok, found some tips and changed my photoshop settings. Then I found a happy medium between what I had done and what I thought I had done, arriving at:

tweaked

2009-03-20T18:24:00.001-04:00

VAMPIRES IN COLOR

2009-03-18T23:16:00.004-04:00

I haven't fooled around with color in about a year, so it was interesting to play again. I want this to work equally well in color and black and white, so it made sense to do a test.

Not the final colors (I actually stole most of the palette from a webcomic that is always visually impressive), but I do think it was a nice first stab.

ALMOST MISSED IT: HAPPY PADDY DAY

2009-03-16T23:17:00.003-04:00

Surely, you'd like to get your Jameson's on this: